“Yes.” She nods like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve already got a big muscly man.”
Heat rushes up my neck so fast I feel it in my ears.
Just thinking about Drago makes my heart flutter like a stupid, lovesick teenager. But then the realization sets in. The amount of unprotected sex I’ve had with him. I rub at my chest, trying to stop the rising panic and hide it from Bella. I need to do that math later.
“Maybe,” I say quietly. “One day. Perhaps when I’m allowed out of Decadence.” I half-joke, but it lands heavier than I mean it to.
Bella’s face softens instantly. “Hey,” she says gently. “It’ll all be over soon.”
That doesn’t help either. What is my future outside of these gates? Do I really want to leave this behind and go back to being afraid of being alone in my own house?
Bella’s eyes flick up to Rowan across the room. He gestures for her, and she gives me a look.
“I’ll be back in a second,” she says, then she’s gone.
I tap my nails against the kitchen counter, the sound too sharp in the warmth of the room. Hallie watches me, instantly picking up on the shift.
“I think I might move away,” I say.
Hallie frowns. “Away?”
I nod, swallowing. “Monaco is the dream.”
Her mouth drops open. “With Drago?” she blurts.
“Yes,” I say, and my voice is steadier than my chest feels. “With Drago.”
Shit. Should I have said that so casually? She’s the only person, besides Drago, who knows me best. A constant in my life for so long that I can hardly remember who I was before Hallie was my best friend. I’ve spent too long hiding my feelings from her.
My gaze flicks around the room. Conan and the twins aren’t listening, too busy laughing about something near the table.
“Don’t mention anything, though,” I whisper.
Hallie smiles softly. “Is that what you really want, Lily?” she asks. “You’ve always seemed so happy here. With your gallery.”
Guilt swarms in my chest so fast it almost makes me nauseous.
She has no idea. Not because she hasn’t tried—Hallie has always tried. She’s the opposite of a bad friend. She’s the one person who kept me breathing through my darkest years.
I just… hid it. Like I was trained to. But then Drago happened. And I’ve started to learn that talking and being open about my feelings isn’t a weakness. There is actually a lot of strength in that.
“I’m not really happy here, Hal,” I admit, and the words taste like shame. “I put a brave face on, but since my last ballet show… I’ve been falling to pieces. And I hid it from everyone.”
Her brows knit instantly, panic flickering across her face. “W-what do you mean?” she asks. “Lily… are you okay?”
I nod, but it’s messy. Not convincing. “I’m getting better, I think. I don’t know. I’ve tried therapy. I’ve got techniques to use. Some days are just heavier than others.”
Her eyes search mine. “Is this why you never went back to ballet?” she asks carefully. “Did something happen?”
My throat tightens, and I take a slow breath, forcing the words through. “Yes,” I whisper. “Something terrible happened to me.”
Before I can look away, she’s wrapping her arms around me, pulling me in like she can physically shield me from my own memories.
“That was always in the back of my mind,” she murmurs. “That’s why I never really pressed. I just… hoped I was wrong.”
My eyes burn. The weight of holding in this secret is just slightly releasing. The power it held over me for years is gradually losing strength. And knowing that Hallie was always there, that she saw me and held me up during my worst times, without even knowing the full story, makes me love her even more.
“And that’s also why I answer every damn phone call,” she adds, voice shaking. “Every time.”
