“I’ll have a flat white,” I add quickly. “And grab us some sweet treats. And whatever Charlotte would like.”
My mom’s gaze lands on Charlotte. And stays there. No smile. No expression. Just… staring.
My stomach twists.
“Mom?” I prompt.
She clears her throat and blinks like she’s waking up. “Sorry. I was zoning out.”
I force a smile. “Come on. Let’s go to my office.”
Maybe my dad is right. Maybe she’s on drugs.
Once we’re in my office, I leave the door open. Charlotte’s instructions are echoing in my head. No locked doors. She needs line of sight at all times unless I’m in the bathroom.
I hate that it’s necessary. I hate that I also prefer Drago following me around.
“I’m so pleased you wanted to see me, Lily,” my mom says, voice softening. “I’ve really missed you.”
I sit, crossing one leg over the other, anxiety scratching at my chest like a warning. I inhale slowly. “I wanted to give you another chance to make it right, Mom.”
Her eyes drop to the floor. “How do I do that?” she asks. “I can’t change what Sasha did to you.”
I flinch.
The way she says his name, so normal, so casual, like he isn’t a predator who ripped my world apart.
“No. You can’t,” I say, voice tight. “But that night, I lost all trust that you’d protect me as my mother. Where were you? How did he get into my dressing room? Why?”
She takes a deep breath. “He said he wanted to introduce himself to you.”
I scoff. “He fucking did that.”
“He wanted to persuade you to join us,” she rushes out. “To come to Ohio. I was missing you so badly. He thought it would cheer me up.”
My mouth drops open, and my stomach turns. “So he thought raping me would scare me into?—”
I can’t even finish it. My skin turns cold.
I feel sweat bead on my forehead. My fists clench, nails biting into my palms as my heart races.
“I didn’t know that was his plan,” she says quickly. “I thought he was just going to ask. Or offer you money. I don’t know.”
I stare at her, and for some reason, I want to hug her. She looks so sad, so lost. At the end of the day, she is my mom. She fucked up, but it wasn’t her. Not really.
“You swear on my life you didn’t know?”
Tears spill down her cheeks. “Lily, I swear. I had no idea he was that man. He was always so sweet to me.” Her voice breaks. “I just wanted you home. I didn’t want him to hurt you. I’d never let anyone hurt my baby.”
She starts to sob. And despite every rational part of me screaming don’t, I’m out of my chair and wrapping my arms around her. Comforting her. It feels wrong, like I’m betraying myself.
“I lost you both that day,” she chokes out. “My life was a lie. I’m so sorry, Lily. Please forgive me. I can’t die knowing you hate me.”
I pull back instantly.
“Die?” My voice sharpens. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She shakes her head too fast. “Nothing. I’m getting older, Lily.” She wipes at her cheeks just as Roxy knocks and comes in with two coffees and two cakes on a tray.
