Her father and Stan had ordered food from one of the restaurants downstairs and had gone to pick it up. Lainie was filled with nervous energy. If she could have, she would have rented a kayak and paddled out into the bay, wind and all.
She logged on to her computer. Messages were waiting from Mike, from Sara, and from her boss in violent crimes, Lieutenant Lopez. She’d only told the lieutenant what had happened and that she needed time off. He’d obviously told her friends. There was also a message from Glen. She passed it by without opening it. No part of her wanted to reconnect with him. She opened Mike’s first.
Hey, partner, let me know what’s going on. LT said you needed time off for a family emergency. I’ll help if I can.
Sorry to hear about your sister,the lieutenant wrote.You have time, take it.
Hey, I’m praying for you and your family, my friend... Call when you canwas Sara’s message.
Lainie answered them all, except Glen’s, with a brief thanks, writing that she’d explain more when she could. After the e-mails were sent, she realized that she needed to talk to another cop about Evie. Someone who would listen to her concerns, help clarify her thoughts, maybe help her digest everything surrounding Evie’s disappearance. If she’d been able to, she would have called Beck. He’d been on her mind since the incident with Bucshon. Dredging up all her history with Vine brought to mind how helpful Beck had been during the most difficult time in her life—second now to what she was going through with Evie’s disappearance.
He was a legend in the department. The old-school cop had gained hero status when he single-handedly thwarted a bank robbery and rescued a hostage—after suffering a gunshot wound to the shoulder. He neutralized two armed men and saw to it that the hostage was treated before having his own wound dealt with.
“Just doing my job”was his response to a reporter when asked about the incident.
She’d been his last trainee. He had thirty-five years in uniform as a patrol officer working only graveyard shift. After the stint as Lainie’s TO, he was promoted to sergeant, and a year after that he retired. For the year that she had Beck as a resource, he was always her go-to person when things got tough, scary, or unexplainable on the job. Lainie tried hard to emulate Beck—to her he was the perfect cop. The right parts strength, wisdom, and compassion.
Beck had moved to a big ranch in Montana and was basically off-grid. Lainie punched in the last number she had for him, and it rang and rang. She hung up after a few minutes.
Next, she thought about Sara. Sara was friends with both her and Evie. Like she had with Evie, Lainie had distanced herself from Sara. Oh, she still backed Sara up at work when she could, but she hadn’t hung out with her just to go to coffee in a while. Faith was the barrier.
Like my father, Sara will be all about prayer. Is that such a bad thing?
Sara went to the same church as Lainie’s family and was way more dedicated than Lainie. When she had attended church regularly, Sara was always a good sounding board for life and they hung out often.I’ve fallen so far away. Pushing aside the shame that bubbled up, she called her friend, hoping she could keep her voice steady.
“Oh, Lainie, I’m so sorry. Such an unbelievable tragedy,” Sara said after Lainie explained the situation. “How can I pray for you?” Tears filled in her friend’s voice.
Throat tight, Lainie said, “I’ve been so far away from God lately. Oh, will he even hear prayers from me?”
“Of course he will; you know better than that.”
“Maybe, but I don’t feel it. Evie was the good daughter, the good Christian. How can she be gone?” Lainie was so close to losing it, her voice broke.
“Lainie, stop. I’ll pray for you right now. Lord, I lift my friend Lainie to you. Please calm her heart, help her stand in the face of this great loss, and ease her mind—it was not her fault. We don’t know the reason this horrible thing happened, but we do know and believe that you, Lord, are still in control.”
Lainie took a deep breath.
Not her fault.
God is still in control.
Each word was like a slap. If God was in control, why was Evie gone?
“God seems so far away. I don’t know if I can still believe.”
“Lainie, God didn’t move; you did. It’s up to you to move back. Please don’t give in to the evil selfish twins: condemnation and pity. None of that will help you or Evie.”
“This is so hard.” A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away.
“I can’t imagine. Get out your Bible, pray. God has not left you. He never will.”
After the call ended, Lainie mentally replayed the conversation. She’d heard the words before, knew they were true, but she couldn’tfeelthem. Neither could she keep her thoughts away from the painful strangeness of all this.
Evie killed by ashark? It was a twisted reality.
Agitated, she perused local news sites and found a couple of articles about the attack.
In one newsclip, a reporter had gone to the beach while the search was in progress. A tourist filmed the chaos when a beachgoer began yelling “shark.” The news station played a portion of her video. On the video, Lainie could see a truly frantic woman yelling “shark” and pointing to the ocean. The video was shaky, zooming in and out, and at one point showing only sand.
