I say goodbye to the kids, telling them that I need to go and help Jodie then pick up my bag and walk out to my car, my heart breaking inside. I’ve never felt so lonely and so helpless. I feel like I’m losing my family, my mum, my mind.
67
LIZZIE
Jodie embraces me when I arrive. ‘You look exhausted. I’ve put you in Millie’s room, she’s at her dad’s this week. Hopefully Freddie won’t keep us awake.’ Kyle, Jodie’s ex – and Millie’s dad – lives ten minutes’ drive from her, so they co-parent. ‘Go and get some rest, then when you’re refreshed we’ll open a bottle of wine and you can tell me what’s going on.’
I’m so grateful for her unquestioning reply that tears spring to my eyes. ‘Thank you,’ I whisper.
I’m bone tired, weary enough to ignore all the noise in my head and as soon as I lie down on Millie’s bed, I fall asleep. When I wake the room is in darkness. How long have I been lying here? I look at the clock and see that it’s gone six. Four hours. I’ve slept all afternoon. I get myself out of bed, freshen up and get dressed then go downstairs. Jodie is on the phone. She looks up as I come in.
‘She’s here now, Nick, did you want a word?’
Nick?I frown.Why is he calling Jodie?
‘Nick wanted to check how you were and thought you might be sleeping, so called me.’ She hands me her phone. I take it. Jodie gets up and goes into the kitchen, leaving us to talk in private.
‘Nick? How are the kids?’
‘They’re good. So is your mum. I don’t want you to worry about anything. Concentrate on yourself. Rest. Take it easy.’
Get your mind straight again, I inwardly finish for him. ‘I will, I’ll be back in a couple of days,’ I tell him.
‘I love you,’ he says. ‘Never forget that.’
‘I love you too,’ I reply. I feel like we’re both going through the motions, that we’re drifting further and further apart and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Jodie comes back with a bottle of rosé and two glasses. ‘It’s low alcohol but I thought it still might cheer you up,’ she says. She fills both glasses and hands me one. ‘Now, tell me what’s been going on.’
She listens attentively, without interrupting, as I fill her in. When I’ve finished she takes a hold of my hand. ‘Geez, Lizzie, that’s a heck of a lot to deal with. And a really scary situation last night. You both could have died. Are you okay?’
I don’t trust myself to answer so simply nod and take a gulp of my wine. When I’ve composed myself I say, ‘Nick and George think it was me who left the cooker on, Jodie. I’ve been a bit confused, forgetting things.’
She squeezes my hand. ‘It’s not your fault, it was an accident. There’s been a lot going on which has brought up some deep trauma for you.’ Her voice is laced with sympathy. ‘Nick understands. You’ll both sort it out.’
I stare down into my glass. ‘He’s trying to be supportive, but we’re kind of dancing around each other. I feel like he thinks I’m going to have a breakdown, so he doesn’t trust me around the kids. He’s working from home this week, supposedly to support me but I think it’s because he doesn’t want to leave the kids alone with me. He’s never forgotten how I was when Isaac was small. And now he thinks it’s all happening again.’
Jodie fixes me with a serious look. ‘Liz, you had a breakdown, and no wonder after what you went through. That was years ago. It’s not happening now. You’re anxious and worried about your mum, and who wouldn’t be? It’s been one thing after another since she got married. And last night you could have both died.’ She pauses. ‘I don’t know what to think of all this but if you really believe that someone has been sneaking into your house then you need to go to the police. But you need strong evidence to convince them. Have you got any?’
That’s one of the reasons I love Jodie so much, she says it as she sees it and she always has my back. I don’t have strong evidence though. Or any evidence at all. Even the warning text has disappeared from my phone. I must have deleted it.
I shake my head. ‘Only my gut feeling that all these things aren’t coincidence. And that jar of peanut butter and receipt. That wasn’t me, I know it wasn’t.’ I wipe the back of my hand over my eyes. ‘None of it adds up, Jodie. And I hate to think that Mum is alone with no one to help her. I should be with her.’
‘Why don’t you phone Judith and see how she is? That might put your mind at rest.’
I nod. ‘I will. And I’ve just remembered that Alison’s coming home today, she’ll be there to look after Mum.’
But when I call Mum but there’s no answer, so I call Alison but again no answer.What’s going on?
I phone George next. ‘Lizzie, what can I do for you?’ he asks wearily.
‘Oh, hi George. I wondered how Mum is, can I talk to her?’
‘She’s asleep, Lizzie, and I don’t want to disturb her. Why don’t you phone back tomorrow?’ Is it my imagination or is he being unusually abrupt?
‘Can I speak to Alison then?’
George sighs. ‘Alison is still in hospital, Lizzie, they’ve kept her in another night. Please phone tomorrow at a reasonabletime. I’m going to bed. Last night was a terrifying experience for us and has left us feeling exhausted.’
