‘Please.’ I do want to, and not because I want to be the one to help Mum rather than Alison. I’m over that now. I genuinely believe that Alison is innocent and wants to help and it’s her nurse training that’s made her come across as overbearing. ButI want to make sure Mum is okay. All this is a lot for her. I should have gone about things differently, not rushed in with my accusations.
‘Are you all right, Mum?’ I ask as I help her onto her bed. ‘Do you need me to help you get undressed?’
She shakes her head. ‘I’m not going to bed, I’ll just have a rest here for a little while until George comes home.’
She looks so weary, her eyes almost closing. I kiss her on the cheek and leave her lying on top of the bed, and go back in to Alison.
‘I thought you were trying to frame me,’ Alison admits frankly, putting a mug of coffee in front of me. She looks ashamed. ‘I’m sorry but I’m afraid that I told Nick that too. That’s why I asked him to meet me yesterday.’
And Nick didn’t tell me. I force my anger down, Alison is opening up to me and I don’t want to ruin that.
‘I could see that you were jealous of me being here, sleeping in your old room, looking after your mum. So I thought you wanted me gone.’
‘And I thought you were pushing me out because you wanted to take my mum from me, like I took yours.’
‘I just wanted to be part of the family, Lizzie, instead of feeling like an outsider again. I’m sorry if that made you feel left out.’
I understand that now. But there’s one more thing I need to ask her. ‘Can I ask you something? And it’s really important to me that you tell me the truth.’
Her eyes meet mine and I do feel that I can trust her. ‘Go ahead.’
‘Exactly how close were you and Nick? Because the way you are around each other makes me think that you were really close.’ I pause. ‘And still are.’
She’s silent for a moment as if considering her answer. I listen to the clock ticking on the wall and wait. Finally she replies. ‘That’s something you have to talk to Nick about, Lizzie. But I can promise you one thing. I’m not after Nick, and I am sure that he isn’t interested in me. Whatever feelings we had for each other are in the past.’
49
LIZZIE
Alison’s words about Nick keep playing on my mind as I drive back to Jodie’s. The way she said that I had to ask Nick made me think that something had gone on between them once.
It was a long time ago, I remind myself.
But why didn’t he tell me?
And look how he jumps to do whatever she asks.
Because she’s looking after your mum.
And how he confides in her.
Because they’re old friends and he feels at ease with her.
Even so, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s still an attraction between them. And although Alison says she blames herself not me for Carol’s death, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t fancy Nick. She said herself that she wants to belong to a family. Maybe she wants mine? But Nick would never betray me. He loves me. He’s always been there for me, I remind myself. Maybe the attraction is only on Alison’s side and he’s struggling with how to deal with it, what with her being family now.
Or maybe it is all harmless. Alison is turning to Nick for help because she knows him.
Nick messages that he’ll be home earlier than planned and will be back later this evening. I decide to wait until the kids arein bed, open a glass of wine and talk to him. Now I’ve told Mum and Alison, it’s time I told Nick about my part in Alison’s mum’s death. Then he might open up about his past relationship with Alison. It would be good to clear the air and get things out in the open.
When I get back to Jodie’s she’s sitting in the garden rocking Freddie in his pram and watching the kids play.
‘Mum!’ Isaac waves and Grace runs over to hug me, but Mollie carries on playing. I sit down by Jodie. ‘Hiya. Is Freddie a bit restless?’
‘He’s got a couple of teeth coming in,’ she says.
‘It’s hard when they’re teething,’ I say sympathetically.
‘How did it go with your mum?’
