I turn on my heels and walk away, determined not to show the fear that gripped me at Ian’s words. He was a nasty piece of work back then. We were all pleased when he left not long after Arthur’s death. I hadn’t expected to bump into him again.
I hadn’t expected to bump into Alison either.
I feel like my world is being turned on its axis and I’m clinging on for dear life.
43
JUDITH
The sound of talking mixed up with cups and plates clanging wake me up. I glance at my clock and see that it’s gone six. Goodness, I’ve slept for hours again. I hear the murmur of George and Alison’s voices but I can’t hear Kenny and Sheila. Perhaps they’ve gone, I think in relief. It would be nice to have my home to myself for a while. The whole family seem to have moved in since my accident and I’m finding it a bit much, especially when I feel so vulnerable.
I sit up and swing my legs off the bed but they feel like lead. Why am I feeling so shattered? I was fine until that stupid fall.
Since then nothing has ever been the same.
It was just a fracture, painful but not debilitating. Yet now I feel like an invalid and it’s a horrible start to married life, but I’ve got to pull myself together and fight this. I can’t allow myself to wallow and get depressed. I’ve always been strong, always held everything together. I look at my walker. I loathe that thing. If only I could get about without it, I know I’d feel a lot better, but my foot is still painful. Too painful to even attempt getting up the stairs. I long to be back in our bedroom, with George.
The door opens and George steps in. ‘How are you, darling?’ he asks gently.
‘I’m a bit woozy but I’ll be okay in a few minutes,’ I tell him weakly.
‘Don’t overexert yourself, love. I can bring your dinner in on a tray. Mine too. We can eat it together.’
‘Thank you, darling, but I want to eat with you and Alison. Have Kenny and Sheila gone?’
‘Yes, Kenny’s going out tonight.’ He sits down beside me and puts his arm around my waist. ‘Let me help you up. Lean on me.’
I lean my head against his shoulder as he helps me to my feet, then pushes my walker towards me.
‘I need to go to the loo first, and I want to tidy myself up a bit. You carry on into the kitchen and tell Alison I’ll be along in a couple of minutes.’
‘Okay, love. If you’re sure you can manage.’
‘I can.’ I’m determined to. I need to get stronger, to get my life back. And to speak to Lizzie about what I’ve learnt about George’s wife. She has to hear it from me first. The trouble is whenever she pops in someone else is always here. Maybe I should wait until Nick returns and tell him? He’ll know how to break it to Lizzie. Or will she think that’s a breach of confidence? I really don’t know how to handle this.
George opens the door for me, and I shuffle the few steps to the downstairs bathroom. Once I’ve been to the loo, I freshen up, comb my hair and put a bit of lipstick on. There, I feel more like my usual self. I make my way to the kitchen where George is laying the table. He smiles as I come in.
‘Ah, you’re looking better already.’
‘I feel it,’ I reply. ‘And that smells delicious.’
‘It’s steak and kidney pie, Dad brought it home for us,’ Alison says with a smile. ‘I’ve put some oven chips and peas with it. Is that okay?’
‘Perfect. Thank you, dear. It’s so kind of you to do all this.’ I make my way over to the table and George rushes to pull out a chair and help me to my seat.
It’s a really enjoyable meal. We sit and chat, George entertains us with stories about his customers, and Alison with anecdotes about some of the patients she’s encountered. I can’t believe how difficult some of them are.
‘I must say you’re very patient,’ I tell her.
‘I try to be. I understand that people get stressed and worried so I try to make allowances.’ She spears her fork into her pie and cuts a slice. ‘The ones I really find difficult to deal with are the ones with mental health issues. They are so convinced that what they believe is right, and sometimes there’s no convincing them otherwise even though their version of events is totally unrealistic. One man was so fatigued he was certain that his wife was putting something in his food to harm him because she wanted his insurance money. The poor woman was beside herself trying to convince him otherwise. It turned out he had an iron deficiency, and once he was on iron tablets for a few days he was much better.’
I pause and stare at her. ‘Maybe that’s what’s the trouble with me! Do you think I could be lacking in iron?’
‘They did blood tests at the hospital, Mum, when you had the fall, and they would have picked it up then,’ Alison reassures me.
‘Then what is it? Why am I so drained all the time?’ I look from Alison to George. ‘I hate being like this. It’s as if I’ve suddenly turned into an old lady.’
George reaches over and squeezes my hand. ‘Oh darling, you’ve had a lot happen in the last couple of months, the TIA, me moving in, a wedding and then the fall.’ A worried look crosses his face. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have rushed the wedding. I just wanted to be with you and keep you safe, but maybe it was too soon after your mini stroke.’
