She says it pleasantly enough and her face is wreathed in a friendly smile, but I feel really put out. This is my mother’s house, my family home, I’m the one who should be offering her a drink. And the way she said it is almost as if she’s limiting my time with Mum, one drink then I have to go.
I know that it’s a good job that Alison was here when Mum had the fall but I really wish that she wasn’t staying to look after her. I don’t want her here, living in Mum’s house.
Any day she could remember who I am, what I did. I can’t bear her knowing. And then everyone else will know.
I’ve never told Mum exactly what happened on that day. I was too ashamed. I’m terrified that if it comes out Nick and Mum will be disgusted with me. And what about George and his family? How will they feel when they find that I’m responsible for Carol’s death? It might destroy Mum and George’s marriage before it’s had time to really begin.
‘I’ve not long had a drink, thanks, but I’m not rushing off yet. The kids are fine with Nick and I want to spend some time with Mum,’ I say politely.
‘That’s only natural. She is rather weak though so we don’t want her to tire herself out. Shall we say half an hour? I think that will be enough for Mum today.’
I can feel myself bristling at her attitude. Anyone would think Alison is the daughter, not me. ‘Of course I won’t tire her out, she’s my mother.’ I force my lips into a smile. ‘Mum said you’re staying for a bit longer to help look after her. That’s kind of you but there’s no need. I only live a few minutes away and I can look after her.’ I was about to say that Mum could move in with us but she probably won’t want to do that as she and George have just got married.
‘You have the children to look after, and your work, Lizzie.’ Alison’s gaze meets mine. ‘It’s absolutely no problem. My contract with a doctor’s surgery has just finished so I’ve told the agency that I’m taking a few weeks’ holiday.’
‘A few weeks?’ I repeat. I don’t want her here that long! I won’t be able to cope. ‘There’s really no need. we don’t want you losing wages. Honestly, we can manage.’
‘I don’t like to pull rank but I am a trained nurse. And it’s not been long since Mum had the mini stroke. Dad suffers from high blood pressure and I don’t want him to have any more stress either. So I’m going to stay with them until Mum is mobile again.’ Her voice is firm, brooking no argument.
I feel panic rising up in me, like a hot liquid pouring into my veins. It sounds as if she’s intending to stay for weeks. I don’t want her here, around Mum. If she and Mum start chatting about how her mum died, they might realise that I was there that day. And it wouldn’t take Alison long to realise what part I played in her death. She might have put two and two together years ago but then I was just a girl she met on a trip. Now I’m her stepsister.
‘I can take time off work and come over when the kids are at school. There’s no need for you to put your life on hold.’ I sound desperate even to my own ears.
‘You’ve got enough on your plate, Lizzie. I don’t want you stressing and wearing yourself out, I know you suffer from anxiety. It’s better all around for me to stay here with them so I can help. It will be good to spend time with Dad. Now let me go and make that coffee. White with two brown sugars, isn’t it?’
Alison is determined to stand her ground, and I can’t help wondering why she wants to stay on here instead of returning to her job and life in Spain. It’s not as if she knows Mum that well. Or that Mum is in serious danger, she’s fractured her ankle but is otherwise fine. I live nearby. I can help. And how does Alison know I suffer from anxiety? Have they all been talking about me? Although I did have that panic attack at the wedding.
‘Please don’t worry, Alison will take good care of me,’ Mum says when Alison goes off to make the drinks. ‘Now tell me, did you enjoy yourself yesterday? I must say that everyone seemed to get on so well and we will have some wonderful photographs.’ She sighs. ‘I wish we were going on honeymoon to Prague today as we planned.’
Poor Mum, she must be so disappointed. ‘You can go as soon as your ankle’s better, Mum.’ Then I realise that I haven’t seen George yet. ‘Where’s George?’
‘He’s popped to the supermarket for a few bits. We didn’t get much in as we were meant to be away.’ She sighs. ‘George is going back to work tomorrow. He said he knows I’m safe with Alison here, and he doesn’t want to pay someone to work there if he can do it. Especially as he’ll need time off when we can actually go to Prague.’
I can see that makes sense but it seems a shame for him not be here when they only got married yesterday. This is supposed to be their honeymoon.
Alison returns with the drinks and puts them down on the coffee table.
‘Dad said that you have a spare key, Lizzie. Would you mind giving it to me until I get one cut? Then I can let myself in if I have to pop out without Mum having to get up and drag herself to the door.’ She holds out her hand expectantly.
I do mind. That means she will have a key to my mother’s house and I won’t. But I tell myself not to be childish and hand it to her. ‘If you could give it me back as soon as you’ve got one cut.’
‘I will. Thanks.’ She slips the key into her jeans pocket then walks over to Mum and plumps up the cushion behind her head. ‘I’ll leave you two to chat while I start preparing dinner. It’s best if you sleep down here for a while, Mum, we don’t want you struggling with the stairs. Luckily there’s a shower in the downstairs toilet so you’ll be able to freshen up.’ My dad had an extra shower fitted when I was a teenager because I kept hogging the bathroom and making him late for work. It’s come in very handy over the years. ‘I’ll continue sleeping in Lizzie’s old room.’
I’m staggered at this. She’s only been in the family for one day but now she is sleeping in my bedroom, looking after my mother and deciding when I can visit her. And worst of all, she is calling my mum Mum. It’s almost as if she’s trying to push me out. But why?
Have all these years without her mother made her desperate to replace her? Is that why she’s taking over mine?
12
LIZZIE
Nick is peeling potatoes when I get home. ‘The kids are playing upstairs so I thought I’d make a start on the dinner. Sausages and mash okay?’ he asks, glancing over his shoulder at me. Then he frowns, puts the potato peeler down and walks over to me, obviously noticing that I’m upset. ‘What’s up? Is it your mum?’ he asks, placing his arm around my shoulders.
I’m so agitated the words come pouring out. He listens intently, stroking his chin.
‘Lizzie, hun. I get you feeling a bit pushed out, but I’m sure that isn’t Alison’s intention. She’s a nurse, and as she has finished her current contract it’s perfectly reasonable that she’d stay to look after your mum – and George. This must all be a strain for him and he’s getting on a bit too.’
Which is exactly what Alison said. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.
