In the kitchen, I quietly fed Sparrow, then made myself a quick bowl of oatmeal. It felt weird not fixing breakfast for Major and me or finding him in the kitchen cooking for us.
As I stood against the counter, waiting for the microwave to finish, I had a flashback of Major eating me out while I tried to make the food. His appetite was insatiable, and I never had sex as many times as I had in the last few days. I was surprised I was able to still able to walk straight.
Major was still asleep when I finished in the kitchen, so I quietly walked back to the bedroom and pushed the door almost closed. I needed to leave a little bit of space in case Sparrowcame back in. I last saw him on the couch with Major, but that didn’t mean he would stay there long. My boy hated closed doors.
In the bedroom, I turned the TV on at a low volume and sat in the middle of the bed. With my bowl of oatmeal, I watched a few episodes ofHoarders.
The whole time, I couldn’t get Major out of my head. This man came and wrecked me for a few days, then treated me like I wasn’t shit. That might have been a little extreme, but he didn’t treat me the same. I felt more from him the first day than I did the night before. I didn’t like that shit, and I had every thought to march into the living room and give him a piece of my mind.
“He’s not worth it, Tumy.”
“But the dick is.”
I resorted to having a conversation with myself. I wanted to call Mariah, but I knew she and her husband had plans. I didn’t want to bother her with my troubles. I needed to suck it up and realize that it was fun while it lasted. Maybe it was just a way for me to finally get rid of Daniel. If Major hadn’t come alone, I probably still would have made myself available for whenever Daniel came around. He was comfortable and, in a way, safe because I knew what I was getting with Daniel.
I got up from the bed and put some clothes on to go outside.
When I came out of the bedroom, I almost bumped into Major.
“Good morning,” I said.
I wasn’t sure if he even responded because I moved so fast. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.
After I was dressed in my boots and coat, I opened the front door.
The sun was out, so the snow had melted some more. It was safe enough to walk outside. With my camera in hand, I walked to the back of the cabin and took pictures of the leftover snow.There was snow covering the trees, so I took a few pictures of those. I even took a few pictures of the back of the cabin.
I could have sworn I spotted Major in the window, but when I looked again, he wasn’t there.
“Maybe he had someone this whole time.”
I walked the path behind the cabin and took more pictures. A few birds were flying around, so I took pictures of them whenever they landed on the tree branches.
Normally, taking pictures and being outside would help clear my mind. Unfortunately, Major still occupied my thoughts. I felt used. It had only been a few days, but I felt like we had a real connection, and now I was stuck wondering if I was just another notch under his belt. Was I just something to do for the weekend? The thought made my stomach hurt.
I stayed outside a little longer until my hands got cold.
Major wasn’t in the living room when I got back in, and I wasn’t trying to look for him. I shed my outside gear, then headed straight for the bedroom.
Sparrow was resting on the bed, so I closed the door and sat on the bed. I had a few hours left, so I lay down and tried to relax until it was time to go.
Hopefully Major would be gone by the time I left.
The painin my back and the heaviness in my chest had me tossing and turning the whole night. I fucked up by pulling away from Tumy. The disappointment on her face haunted me the entire night. I should have just talked to her and told her how I felt, but I didn’t know how. I hadn’t had feelings for anyone in a while, and it low-key scared me.
I felt the same heaviness when I woke up on the couch. I heard Tumy come out of the bedroom and felt when she watched me for a few seconds. I played sleep because I didn’t want to face her. I was sure she felt some type of way about me not going into the room with her, because I damn sure did. I missed the warmth and smell of her soft ass body against mine. I missed talking to her until we fell asleep. I missed waking up to herpretty ass face. Hell, I even missed her morning breath. It was crazy to feel that way when she was just down the hall.
I never imagined I could fall so deep in a matter of days, but Tumy embedded herself in my veins. Shit wouldn’t be the same once we separated. The feeling of not being able to see or talk to her again made my chest tight. Something had to give.
When we ran into each other in the hallway, she could barely look at me. She spoke and got away from me fast as hell like I had the cooties. The shit fucked with me all morning.
I watched her from the window as she took pictures in the back of the cabin. I wanted to go out there and join her, but I knew if she chose to talk to me again, I had to come correct.
She even resorted to eating oatmeal or something to avoid being in the kitchen for too long. Now I knew what Tamia sang about when she said it was a stranger in her house, because that was what I felt like. Tumy and I were back to being strangers. That didn’t sit right with me. Not after I tasted and felt her multiple times. Not after we shared childhood stories and future goals. Not when I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Not after I fucked with her cat. I fed that thing, even though at first I didn’t want any parts of it. The little guy was cool. He sat with me while I watched her outside. During the night, he sat with me when I chastised myself for fucking up a good thing.
Tumy was the first good thing I’d experienced in a long time. Her smile was bright like the sun after a rainstorm. She made me feel warm inside. She made me want to love her. It would be hard not to.
I thought about saying something to her when she came back in the house, but she moved so quickly and closed the bedroom door like she didn’t want to be bothered. She even locked Sparrow in there with her, so I guessed he wasn’t fucking with me either. He probably knew I’d hurt his mom’s feelings.
