But then, at the exact same moment, we said:
“Anyway, I wanted to apologize for this morning—”
“Were you trying to ask me out?”
His eyes widened. He’d been caught.
“I didn’t want to scare you off. I know we talked about getting to know each other better, but I don’t want you to think I’m rushing or pushing you. It’s one thing to be confident in the bedroom, you know, but another thing to ask a girl out, believe it or not, especially when she’s said she isn’t interested in that kind of thing—”
“Yes. I want to go.”
I forced the words out, but as soon as they were, I realized how much I loved saying them. Yes, it was terrifying, thinking that I was, little by little, relaxing my white-knuckle grip on all aspects of my life. But hey…it wasoneouting. One night with Hudson that wasn’t one hundred percent focused on sex.
Problem: I’ve never been on a real date before. And Leelah was right. That was a missing data set.
Proposed Solution: Go on a date with Hudson. Simple as that.
Hudson eyed me, surprised by the sudden change of heart. “But what about work?”
“I’m researching better work-life balance. Among other things. Cursory exploration of the studies in this area have informed me that it’s beneficial for my in-office performance.”
His chuckle moved through my entire body, making me glow from the inside out. He liked it when I talked nerdy. “Whatever you say, boss.”
Boss.The way he said it—or maybe the way I heard it—came across likebeautifulorlovelyorwoman I can’t wait to kiss again.
My walls shot up again. This would not be another Lloyd Exeter situation. I would not let myself fall for a guy in the office. I would not give someone else the power to destroy me. Even if Hudson somehow didn’t ruin my career like Lloyd had, he was going to leave at the end of his contract. No point in getting attached. Sex was fine. Surface-level enjoyment was perfectly acceptable. Feelings were not.
“But let me reiterate…This is one date. We aren’t dating. The rest of our rules and guidelines are still in effect. I just want to make that clear.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched, causing his smile to falter for the briefest of moments. After all my study of him, I still didn’t know what that slight gesture meant. “Crystal.”
22
Sex on the First Date
“So how did you come up with the idea for this little outing?” I asked, staring up at the faux UFO looming overhead.
“Easy. I thought to myself, hey, what’s the least sexy first date? And thus, mini golf.”
Minnie’s Golf was a kitschy roadside attraction–inspired mini golf course tucked away in a Dallas suburb. With holes themed to everything from dinosaurs to kaiju battles to alien invasions to giant robot attacks, it was basically built for someone like me.
Only one small problem.
“I’ve never golfed before. Miniature or otherwise.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, believe it or not, my parents didn’t exactly consider knocking a ball into the Creature from the Black Lagoon’s mouth vital to my education.”
“You don’t talk about them much. What were they like?”
There was a reason I didn’t talk about my parents. Actually, there were countless reasons. So I offered the bare minimum. Lied by omission. “They’re great. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.”
“That doesn’t sound like the whole story. What’s going on behind those very nice, very sanitized words, I wonder?”
“They put me through school and spent every spare second they had helping me go over flash cards or rushing me to extra classes or buying me more books,” I said, my defensive hackles rising. No one had ever called me out on my bullshit about my family before. “I’m only this person because of them.”
“And that person is brilliant. But she’s never mini-golfed before.”
