“Usually, I’d put you through some tests, but…I’m going to be honest with you, Leelah. You’re overqualified and the culture’s not good here right now. And I just need to know that I have someone in my corner. Can you be that person?”
“What do you mean?”
I told her the truth about the Jared Blotcher/Lloyd Exeter situation. What the hell did I have to lose? She’d find out within a few days of working here anyway. Besides, she knew what it was like to be screwed over by an ex-boyfriend. Might as well start this friendship with a little trauma bonding.
“How awful,” she muttered when my tale concluded. “That guy’s a dick.”
“That’s insulting to dicks. At least dicks are useful.”
“Some of the time. I mean, they’re clearly very replaceable.” She gestured to the dildo I’d crafted last night. Damn. I really needed to put that thing away. “But I guess you’re right. Sometimes you can’t beat the real thing.”
“Being a virgin and all, I wouldn’t know, but I’ll take your word for it.”
Just like that, Leelah became an entirely different person. A light sparked inside her, and the tension withdrew from her body. If Clara was cool and I was neurotic and Addie was spunky, Leelah was excitable. Perky. “God, this makes me feel so much better. I was terrified to come in here. You know, you’re terrifying? Everyone says so.”
“Do they?”
“Yeah. Clara said not to be surprised if you don’t even look at me.”
How weird—I knew that about myself, that I wasn’t effusive or anything. But I’d never thought people wereafraidof me. “Let’s just say I’m turning over a new leaf. Or trying to, anyway. Maybe the sky won’t fall if I come out of my shell a little bit.”
“Why? I mean, why come out of your shell now?”
Because the hot guy in the office got a boner while looking at me once and then everything went to shit.“A lot of reasons. But…when I started here, I probably looked a lot like you did a few minutes ago. Clara welcomed me. She made me feel like I was more than what happened to me. She was—and is—my friend. I think it’d be nice to have more friends in the office.”
Leelah nodded, practically bouncing in her seat now. “I can’t remember the last time I had a friend. People always say that I come on too strong, that I should just keep my head down, but I don’t think that’s any way to live. I mean, what’s even the point?”
If I’d developed a friend in the lab, I couldn’t have created a friend more unlike me. She was enthusiastic, beaming, and moreinterested in socializing than crunching numbers or working with tech.
In short, she was perfect. If I was going to try and make friends, I might as well go for broke, right? She could teach me a thing or two about peopling.
“This is just so exciting, Scout. I can’t wait—should we do lunch today?”
Lunch. A friend was asking me to lunch. “We have a prototypes meeting over lunch today, but maybe tomorrow?”
“Awesome. You’ve told me so much about yourself, but I’ve got to get you caught up on allmylore!”
“Sounds great. Go ahead and look at these specs. They’ll help you get ready for the meeting this afternoon.”
I passed some papers her way. She took them and deflated. I guess it must have finally dawned on her where she was working—not just a friendly place with a newly friendly boss, but a place that built sex toys instead of the medical tech she’d been developing for years.
I knew that look. I still saw it sometimes when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“The pacemakers I was creating at my firm were going to change the entire way we treat sick people. My portable EEGs were going to save lives,” she muttered.
I shrugged. “So you’re going from helping the medically fucked-over to letting the helpless get fucked. How exciting for you.”
A little of her old grin returned. “You know, I think I’m going to like working here. Thanks for everything.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Leelah. Glad to have you on the team.”
And I was. I really was.
Not just because she seemed fun. A little intense, but very fun. It was also because, for the last twenty minutes, I’d barely thought about giving Hudson my virginity at all.
Then, of course, the man had to ruin the streak by walking past my office’s glass wall. He didn’t look in my direction, but as he walked, I leaned back in my chair and let my eyes oh-so-subtly follow him as he went.
Everything else in my world, like dildo prototypes and new friendships and questions about sex, disappeared. All I could think about was his ass in those jeans.
