Because the two people he’d loved most had ditched him the instant he disagreed with them. He didn’t want to get hurt that way ever again.
My guilt over our argument returned full force. No, double force. Triple force. Hurricane force.
“I didn’t know that,” I muttered.
“Of course you didn’t. Doyougo around talking about the worst thing that ever happened to you?”
I shrugged. “No, most people do that for me. I’m sure rumors of my ruination in this field have preceded me.”
“And they’re greatly exaggerated, I’m sure.”
Over the years, I’d heard variations on that same theme from industry folks. He was the first person I truly believed. “I don’t know about that. But…thanks for seeing me anyway. It was nice of Hudson to connect us.”
“Nice? He is nice, but notjustnice. He’sgood. Good in a way you don’t see a lot anymore. Poor guy just always wanted to do the right thing, you know? Always wanted to make sure he was useful to someone. That he mattered. After all that with Daisy and Mike, I think he got even worse. I offered him a job here, but he likes the whole soldier-of-fortune thing. Mary Poppins-ing to anyone who needs him the most. I hope he finds someone to take care of him someday. A man needs his people, you know?”
Like I’d needed him. Like I still needed him.
Clearing my throat, I tried to talk through the lump of emotion there.
“Sorry, we got sidetracked. Were there any business questions you had for me?”
At once, Malcolm schooled his expression. “Right. We’re having a little issue with our propulsion systems. Care to take a look?”
I itched to be helpful, but I forced my hands to stay in my lap. “I don’t work for free.”
“We’ve already figured it out. I think. I just want to see how you’d tackle the problem.”
When I didn’t shut him down again, he handed me a tablet, already loaded up to a spec screen. For a few minutes, I read through the doc, crunching numbers in my head. When my head wasn’t sufficient anymore, I swiped a pen and pad from his desk, scribbled down a few calculations, and then returned the tablet.
“You need to change your fuel source. Believe me, no one knows horrific, fiery explosions like I do, and if you don’t pivot, that’s what you’ve got ahead of you. Here.” I slid him my calculations. I’d been doing private research on alternate fuel sources since before my time at GalacticSolutions. I knew even my offhand math would be sound. “Check this out.”
I guess I should have been nervous, watching him evaluate my work in such a formal setting. But I knew I was smart. I knew I could do this. I knew engineering better than I knew myself.
My brain had never been the problem. It was my heart that gave me trouble.
Besides, there was a certain emotional high toknowingyou were right. And I’d been missing that rush at BuzzCorp.
Eventually, Malcolm let out a low, impressed whistle. “That’s good. That’s real good. Better than what we’ve got now.”
“And cheaper, too, isn’t it?”
He smirked. “Well, you don’t have to rub it in.”
“Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to do this. It’s going straight to my head.”
“This is incredible work. Wherehaveyou been hiding?”
“Your wife’s bedside table drawer, I guess.” We both laughed. “Any other questions for me?”
We chatted for a few more minutes. Eventually, though, my lunch break grew short, and we rose to shake hands.
“We’ll be in touch. It was nice to meet you, Scout. It’s not hard to see why Hudson thinks so highly of you.”
They were the sweetest words to ever punch me in the gut, but I took the pain in stride.
Maybe I’d never be able to get Hudson back. That ship had probably sailed. But maybe I could become the sort of woman who didn’t need a man to point out her worth.
Maybe I could just be valuable all on my own.
