“I know it’s not a perfect answer, hell, it’s not even a good one. I just thought…I don’t know. I thought it would be too hard to find anyone compatible. I thought it was easier to settle with Carly’s…quirks than to face the trial and error of dating in this day and age. Then I met you.”
Cassi’s face sours as she pulls away from me and shakes her head.
“If you’re about to make a speech about how you were going to keep dating my sister but then you met me and now you want to dump her, you should seriously revise that.”
“No, no,” I quickly say. “It’s not that it’s just…” I pause, not quite sure how to capture the right words as I sigh.
“Until that night with you, I’d been content with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I was so over our relationship. Her meltdown on Jackie was the last straw and a huge eyeopener to what kind of person I was with. Then I met you?—”
“And we slept together before you went crawling back to her,” Cassi says callously.
I understand her hesitancy and her defensiveness. She has every right to have her guard up, I just hope I can prove to her that my words are genuine.
“And she called me sobbing, begging for me to at least meet your parents and save face. I had intentions on leaving that next morning and then, well, I saw you again. I had convinced myself that it wasn’t an accident. That there was something bigger working. Then every moment I spent with you, you were this sassy, infuriating, perplexing wonderful woman. Suddenly, I didn’t care about being away from your sister if it meant giving me the opportunity to be closer to you.”
Cassi looks at me for a moment like she wants to believe me before shaking her head.
“You do realize how fucked up that sounds, right? Like you hear it too?”
A humorless laugh escapes me as I nod.
“I know, I also know that you’re worried about what…this is,” I say as I gesture between us. “I want to make myself perfectly clear when I say that this, us, to me, means more than it probably does even to you. That it may not feel like it because of our current situation and so, as soon as I am able, I’m remedying it. For all of our sakes.”
“You don’t need to give me all these promises, Nico. I?—”
“I don’t,” I say, cutting her off. “But I think you need to hear them. I think you need to hear me when I say that I have never felt a tenth of what I feel with you, with anyone else. Ever. I think you need to fully understand that I am not just lusting after you, I’m not falling for you. I’ve already fallen, hard. I’m splattered on the side of the goddamn sidewalk. So, I’m giving you a heads up. You need some time to catch up, and that’s okay. I have some things to take care of before I can have you the way I want you, and that’s okay too. Just so we are clear, though, I’m giving you the notice because I need you to catch up, babygirl. I’m ready and waiting for you to fall too.”
Fuck. My heart is racing. When did that start? I couldn’t even repeat half of what I just said. I blacked out. My mouth opened and word vomit just poured out, and it didn’t stop until every innermost thought I’ve possessed over the last week was out and in the open. The idea of playing it cool is officially shot to hell, and the only thing I can hope is that I haven’t scared the shit out of her and sent her running for higher ground.
“Nico, I?—”
I hold her face in my hands, bringing my lips to hers as I stall her words. When I pull back, I whisper against her lips.
“You don’t need to say anything. I don’t expect anything. I just…I never want you to worry, to doubt yourself or how I feel about you. I wanted my priorities to be clear, that despite literally all reason or logic, you have sky rocketed to the top of that list.”
She blinks once, emotion practically drowning her features as she shakes her head.
“You don’t need to wait for me to fall, I’m already there.”
Chapter Twenty Three
Cassi
We didn’t have sex last night, which felt kinda off. For half a second, I was insecure that he was already bored of me. When I shoved away that annoying little voice inside of me, though, I understood. He was proving a point, sending home a message that he has been repeating since we got to Boston. He isn’t just interested in sex with me, he wants more. He feels more. And I really didn’t know how badly I needed him to prove that.
When he carried me to the master bedroom and held me in his arms all night something in me was soothed, calmed. Settled.
This morning we decided to head to a coffee shop that is just down the road from him, and yeah, I even made him use his two perfectly working legs and walk. His hand slipped into mine so effortlessly, like it’s a habit we’ve adopted over decades together as we strolled the sleepy side street this morning.
I can smell the coffee shop before I see it, and when we round the corner, a quaint shop falls into sight. Nico steps in front of me, grabbing the door and holding it open before I stepinside. Instantly, I’m greeted with the smell of freshly roasted coffee, sweet baked goods and something savory that smells entirely too delicious. The little shop is bustling with customers but most seem to be getting theirs to go instead of taking a seat in their cushy assortment of seating scattered around the room.
“One black coffee, please,” Nico says as we walk up to the front before he turns to me.
“Two,” I chime in. “And one of whatever that amazing smell is!”
The barista nods and smiles as she taps in our order.
“Our bacon and chive croissants are crazy popular. Anything else?”
