“I’ve missed you,” I pant.
I’ve been on top for roughly seven seconds and I’m already exhausted. I’m convinced it’s more strenuous for girls than it is for guys because goddamn, being on top kinda sucks.
Pushing through the burn in my thighs, I keep on pace as my eyes fall closed on a moan.
God. This feels so good. I’ve needed this release, this pleasure. Now that I have it, I can finally erase Nico from my head once and for all.
Though, thinking of Nico in this moment was probably the worst thing that I could have done. Instantly, my mind conjures his face. That barely there smile, those intense brown eyes. His large hands, my god. I never thought I would be attracted to hands but watching them tie rope effortlessly, seeing the way hegrips my skin firmly, keeping me in place until I’m exactly where he desires me. Fuck, it’s like a drug, and my pleasure doubles from just the thought of it.
By it’s own free will, my mind keeps playing a fucking highlight reel from that night with Nico. The feel of his lips on my skin, his touch, the look in his eyes when I gave myself over to him so completely. The tension, the aching, the pleasure.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m falling over the edge, riding the cock inside me like it’s Nico and I’m desperate for just one more time with him.
“Oh my god. Fuck! Yes!” I moan as I fall over the edge, circling my hips over and over to pull out every ounce of pleasure possible.
“Cassi,” he calls out beneath me, instantly shifting my reality.
My eyes fly open as understanding dons on me. That wasn’t the deep gravely voice I’ve become way too familiar with these last few days. That was an old one from the past, a familiar one. Alec.
He smiles up at me like he just had the best time of his life, meanwhile my stomach turns in an instant at the realization of what I’ve done. I fuck faced him. I had sex with him imagining he was someone else. I’m despicable, I’m disgusting. I’m….
“That was amazing,” Alec smiles as he gently rolls me off of him, wrapping his arms around me tightly like we have all the time in the world.
“Yeah,” I rasp, struggling for my smile to meet my eyes.
He can tell too. His grin begins to slip as his gaze fills with concern. Doing my best to slip on a content smile, I press a gentle kiss to his lips that seems to lower his guard.
“I have work in the morning, I should probably head home.”
Disappointment touches his features but it doesn’t last long before he nods.
“Let me get dressed and I’ll walk you out.”
I nod as he disappears into the bathroom while I get dressed asfast as humanely possible. I feel dirty, ashamed and so morally corrupt.
By the time Alec is out of the bathroom, condom disposed, I’m already dressed and heading for the door. He barely has time to grab a pair of boxers before he’s chasing me down the stairs and to the front door. I’m barely able to make it to my car door before his hand comes to rest on my car.
“So, that’s it, just gonna hump and dump me?” he teases.
My eyes come to his and find that he’s one thousand percent kidding. It still doesn’t erase the ugly guilt that is gnawing at my insides.
“I’m sorry,” I say, leaving it open ended because I’m sorry for way more than leaving quickly.
“I’m kidding, Cass. As long as we’re good. Are we good?” he asks, forcing my eyes to his.
I give him a small smile and a nod which allows his shoulders to relax fully.
“Good. Text me when you get home, okay?”
“I will,” I say as he leans in to kiss me.
I don’t pull away, though I don’t engage too much either. When we break apart, I give him a smile and a nod before slipping into my car. Alec watches me start the engine and back out of the driveway, giving me a slow wave as I take off down the road.
My house isn’t too far from his which means I’m not nearly done mentally berating myself by the time I pull into my driveway. So stupid. I was having a nice night, with a good guy, and then Nico fucking Sanders had to come along and ruin everything per usual.
Actually, to be fair, I think I kinda ruined everything for him originally.
You know what, fuck that. I didn’t ruin anything. I’m the one who has been single the whole time. He’s the slimy loser. Fuck him. What was I thinking? Defending a man? Who have I become?
