Ciar couldn’t bear to see a woman appear so broken and reached across the table and grasped her hand.
“Marie, I will help you even if I’m not the father, but I need to know what it is you truly want. Anders said you wanted to sign away your rights. Why? You could have ended this pregnancy at any time. You chose not to. Why?”
She placed one of her delicate hands over her stomach, the first sign that she had any connection with the child she was growing. Soon enough, she let her hands rest on the table and sat up, facing him with more determination than she’d shown since entering the diner.
“I grew up attending the Russian Orthodox Church. My parents and their parents and their parents and so on held true to the church’s ban on abortion.
“I may have strayed outside the tenets of marriage, but I would not, could not take the life of a child if someone else would give it a home. It was a step too far outside my family’s beliefs. My beliefs,” she grimaced.
“Chris wanted a young, trophy wife. Before we married, he explained he had limitations in the intimacy department. No one would ever believe me if I told them that I do love my husband. He is my best friend, and he trusted me to live a discreet life.
“It killed me to disappoint him. I never wanted a child. I still don’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want this child to be loved. I knew you would be that person, whether it was yours or not. I’ll take the test and gladly, but I’m still asking you to put your name on the child’s birth certificate.
“Chris and I will place five million pounds directly in your account and twenty million in an account for the child to be used at your discretion.
“I know you didn’t ask for this, Ciar. I know Chris and I are asking the world. There is a chance this child is yours, but I agree, it is unlikely. That night at the club,” she grimaced, “I wasn’t just drinking alcohol. I don’t know if protection was used or compromised.
“I’ve made a commitment to Chris to change the trajectory of the path I’ve been taking. I’m finished catting around. I will devote myself to Chris for the years he has left and strive to be a better woman, a person who leaves this world better than it found me.
“You are a good person, Ciar. No matter what, I believe there is something inside you that this child will heal.”
Ciar stiffened, not liking the direction the conversation was veering. Some things that were dead and buried needed to stay that way.
“I think you would make an amazing mother, and Chris an amazing father. You’re quitting before you try.”
“No. I’m giving this child a chance at family. I’ve done too many things in my past that are so shameful,” she shook her head and clenched her eyes before focusing on him again and continuing. “This child deserves everything. Give it to her. Please.”
If he did this, he could see the life he’s been envisioning with Gray slip through his fingers, but if he didn’t, he could never live with himself. Children were meant to be loved, never abandoned to chance. Marie would be going back to Russia. She would never know whether her child was being properly cared for. He’d lived a childhood of chance. Could he let Marie’s? “Let’s go to the hospital for testing. That’s all I’ll commit to now.”
Three hours later, Ciar’s hired car was outside Marie’s leased home. “We’ll discuss the test results when they come in.”
“Fine.” She was staring out the car window, pleating her skirt between her fingers over and over.
“I will consider this…the child, the future, while I wait to hear from you.”
“Okay. Thank you,” she said quietly.
Marie was clearly flagging. “Do you want me to be there? Not after, or in the waiting room, but,” he stuttered, not believing what he was about to say, “with you?”
A lone tear tracked down her pale cheek and rested above her red-stained lips. She wrapped her hand around the door’s handle, about to let herself out, but turned to face him at the last second. “Yes. Please.”
seventeen
GRAY
Something was wrong.Something had been wrong since coming home from Colorado weeks ago. Gray just couldn’t put her finger on what was setting her off.
Ciar was attentive physically, not so much in the communication department. He worked nonstop, almost maniacally. He slept at her place when he was in Dublin, even though his home was twelve steps away, but he spent even more time at his London flat.
He explained that he had several difficult deals he was juggling at once, and since he was his boss’s top broker, there was no shirking his duty to the company.
Gray did understand work. Her father had always taken MacGregor Security seriously, and the Royal Marines before that. Her mother was also a role model. Josephine O’Connor was a badass in the hospitality world, and even though she kept her schedule lighter over the past few years to spend more time at home with her husband and Gray’s brother, her days were always full and fulfilling.
Her mom even worked closely with a charity that helped people who have been rescued from trafficking. She was the one who set up the training workshops that taught job skills for the survivors. So yeah, Gray very much understood a devotion to work.
It made sense on paper, but living it, seeing how different he’d become from the man she’d grown up with, or the man she’d fallen in love with, was making her feel crazy.
Despite her misgivings, her life was also quite hectic, which thankfully kept her from dwelling on Ciar to an unhealthy extent. She was simultaneously working on the pub’s hospitality side, renovating and remodeling the two-story building Ciar had purchased for their new home, while still maintaining top grades at university.
