And then I forced myself to wait and wait, even as my jaw trembled.
A solid minute after Gray left, I let the sob break free just as my knees buckled. Grabbing the windowsill to keep me upright, I dug my fingers into the unforgiving surface and took slow, deep breaths as I willed back every emotion.
I would cry . . . I would break . . . later.
Not when I was about to be surrounded by too-perceptive women and the guys who’d known me for over a decade. Not when someone was bound to notice if I had red, puffy eyes.
Tossing my phone onto the nightstand, I headed for the bathroom to shower and rid myself of the uncomfortable mask of makeup. Thankful, as I did so, that I’d been forced into learning how to turn off my emotions since I was a little girl.
Once I was dressed again, I headed down to the area we’d all been meeting at since arriving at this resort. I instinctively sought out Gray, the way I always did, but this time there was a layer of dread and pain overlapping the anticipation I usually felt when I knew I was going to see him.
But he wasn’t there. At least, not yet.
Dropping into a chair where Rush sat beside an obnoxiously-in-love Thatch and Chloe, I forced myself not to glare at thehappy couple, since I wasn’t actually irritated with them, and looked out toward the ocean instead.
“Surprised you made it.”
I lifted one of my eyebrows and glanced at Rush, feigning confusion, all while my pulse pounded through my veins.
A knowing smirk tugged at his mouth. “Not sure I’ve seen you drink in all the years I’ve known you, and you hadtwobefore you decided it was a good idea to head to the bar.”
Relief swept through me as a hum rose in my throat.
“Right, what was that?” Thatch asked on a hushed laugh. “Since when do you drink?”
“I don’t,” I said just as all our phones went off.
Some horrible part of me worried it would be Gray, saying he wasn’t going to come. But for the second time in less than a minute, relief filled me when I saw it was from Briggs’ sister.
Peyton Briggs
Already at the airport.
“Not surprising,” I mumbled, since Briggs and his sister didn’t have a great relationship. I’d only met her once before this week, and that was when their brother died.
“You good?”
I glanced up at the unexpected and unwelcome question, only for my eyes to narrow when I realized Thatch’s question had been directed at Rush. Rush, who stared at the screen of his phone for a few seconds longer before slowly locking and pocketing the device, a deep sadness radiating from him.
He dragged a hand over his face and through his beard before muttering, “We’ve talked about this.”
“Talked about what?” I asked when Thatch just studied him with a worried look.
Rush gave me a soft, reassuring smile. “That it would hurt Briggs if Peyton left just as quickly as she arrived.”
From Thatch’s flash of surprise, that wasn’t remotely close to what they’d talked about. I also had a feeling Briggs wasn’t about to care when his sister—or any of us—left, since he was now on his honeymoon.
But considering I was trying not to crumple under the weight of all I’d woken to, I wasn’t going to push for the truth. Instead, I glanced away, making sure every one of my walls was perfectly in place so no one would see the chaos wreaking havoc inside.
My heart tumbled over itself when Gray suddenly appeared, settling himself into the seat beside me, but I didn’t allow myself to look at him or react to his presence.
My stomach knotted when I once again remembered I was married, thanks to a ceremony I didn’t remember, to the only man I’d ever loved. A man who was incapable of that level of love, and who’d looked like that certificate had ruined his plan for a lifetime of bachelorhood.
Or maybe it was just that it wasmysignature below his.
Sure, I was his best friend—aside from Thatch—but I was stillIce Barbie. I was still better at fighting than having heart-to-hearts. I was stillone of the guys.
My sensitive stomach lurched when Lainey’s sister settled into a chair directly across from Gray, a predatory smirk shaping her lips as she stared down her current mark.
