Mallory’s hand stilled from where she was pouring extra garlic sauce on her wrap, and for a few seconds, it looked like she stopped breathing before her head gently shook as she continued preparing her food.
“Not on missions. Not on details. Not in this.”
“How chivalrous,” she muttered softly, dully. “Let it be known, Texas boys will also remain in a marriage they didn’t sign up for or want.”
I ignored the pointed jab, already knowing she’d hated all the times I’d come to her defense before she could defend herself. Something the rest of the guys had always claimed I’d done becauseTexas boys were raised a certain way.
But if Mallory hadn’t come from the family she had, she might know it was a guy thing in general. If she wasn’ther, she would’ve noticed theTexasthing fell flat, considering Briggs, Rush, and Evans had never stepped in, because they knew how she’d react and that she could handle herself. Both things I knew as well, but they didn’t love her the way I did.
Knowing I was likely to respond with something I probably shouldn’t just yet, likethat’s not why I wouldn’t leave you, I took a large bite of my own wrap and waited until I’d swallowed before saying, “Question remains, why haven’t you?”
“Between my mom dying and work, it wasn’t exactly a priority.”
If Mallory would’ve said those exact words to me a few months ago, I would’ve believed her, without question. As it was, the slight lowering of her chin and her hushed, rapid response were enough to let me know she was lying.
“But like I said, I’ll take care of it,” she went on, voice different from just seconds before. More alive. Moredetermined. “I’ll go in tomorrow and start the process—whatever it is.”
Panic and something close to heartbreak unfurled inside me at the thought, a feeling I’d become increasingly used to over the last months.
But every response I had only gathered on my tongue, until I was afraid of what I’d say next. Because one wrong word, and I’d push her even further away. One wrong plea, and I’d push her into doing the opposite, just to show me shecould.
Clearing my throat, I kept my stare on the table as I hesitantly asked, “What if you didn’t?”
Seconds passed as that soft, thrumming energy pulsed between us before Mallory released a hushed scoff. “What? Do you have a thing against divorce? I’m sure it can still be annulled—it doesn’t have to be considered a divorce.”
I had a thing against losing her.
I also had a feeling those drinks in Aruba had caused us to stop fighting with each other and admit things we wouldn’t have otherwise. And I wanted the chance to see if we could ever get to that point sober.
Not that I could tell her that.
“You said something earlier,” I said instead, once again clearing my throat as I set my wrap down and leaned back in my chair. “Something about making this easier for you and not to worry because my job would remain secure.”
Dread twisted my stomach and threatened to consume me when sadness filled her eyes for a few seconds too long. Because I knew in that look what her answer to my question would be.
“You’re leaving Shadow, aren’t you?” I continued, no longer caring about the strain in my voice.
It said everything that the breath Mallory drew in was shaky, but she just slanted her head in my direction without meeting my stare, and said, “It’s for the best.”
“I don’t agree.”
For some reason, that amused her. “Thankfully, it isn’t your decision to make.”
My jaw shifted at the thinly veiled dig. “Why are you doing this?”
“I already told you.”
“And what if you’re wrong?” I challenged, my voice toeing the line of desperation. “How can it be best for you to leave when we’ve always worked best together? Whenwe’rebetter together.”
At that, her stare snapped to mine and widened. Her voice came out on a breath when she argued, “We’re a nightmare together.”
“We aren’t,” I assured her, even if the past three months had felt like it. Leaning against the table, I searched her blue eyes before begging, “Give me a month.”
She blinked quickly. “What?”
“Give me a month to change your mind on Shadowandabout being married to me.”
Ihad to be dreaming.
