At the very least, it had been nothing more than a ceremony neither of us remembered. Considering what they all suspected of me, that was nothing. Didn’t matter that it was everything for me when it came to Mallory.
Or, at least, it would’ve been had we been sober.
“What I don’t understand is why you won’t tell me,” he went on, not bothering to hide his hurt. “I’m the only one who’s known what you’ve felt for her all these years, and I could’ve been there for you with this fallout.”
“But I don’t know the reason for the fallout,” I countered, my voice rough from the pain and worry. “None of y’all believe that though.”
Thatch studied me before nodding. “If you say you don’t know, then you don’t know,” he conceded before slanting his head. “But whatever’s going on isn’t because of her mom. Briggs was right when he said Monroe’s only trying to avoid you on details, and he didn’t even touch on the fact that we’re all sure she’sactuallyavoiding you outside the office.”
Every part of me went still before my head lowered in a subtle bob. The brief second my stare met his was the only confirmation Thatch needed, given the worry lining his brow.
Before he could pry further, I turned for my door again. “I gotta go.”
“Gray—”
“Chloe’s gonna be waiting for you to get home,” I said, knowing just the mention of his new wife would have Thatch eager to get home. I glanced over my shoulder but didn’t meet his knowing stare when I added, “Better head out. See you next week.”
“We have another detail on Sunday,” he reminded me, making my jaw ache from how hard I ground it in the next instant.
“Didn’t Briggs tell you?” I asked dryly. “I’m out until I find a way to break through impenetrable defenses.”
Thatch’s silence spoke volumes.
It was shock and worry. It was pleading and confidence anddoubt.
“Come to my house,” he quickly offered when I opened my door. “Sleep in the guest room tonight—however long you need. Chloe doesn’t need to know why.”
An edgy laugh bled from me when I realized what he was doing. What he was still worrying over. “Told you, I’m fine.”
“Then tell me what I’m seeing,” he ground out, fear nearly exploding from him, “because you’re scaring me.”
“I told you, this is killing me.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “The way she’s acting? The distance? Because, yes, she’s avoiding me outside the office...It hurts. I’m allowed to hurt, Thatch.”
His jaw twitched as he tried to see past what I was telling him to what Iwasn’t. With a subtle shake of his head, he stepped close enough to grip my shoulder, then pulled me toward him. His head bent low when he said, “I’m here. Yeah? Whenever, whatever.”
“I know,” I muttered, grateful for his friendship and hating that I was putting these concerns in his head. But other than breaking down and telling him everything I remembered and everything I worried Imayhave done, I didn’t know how to make him understand.
With a stilted breath, I said, “No matter what happens with Monroe, no matter what you pick up when you’re studying me, just know I won’t go back there.”
“That isn’t going to stop these conversations,” he murmured, even as he squeezed my shoulder before releasing it.
“Of course not,” I tossed back with a smirk I knew he didn’t buy. “But it’s stopping this one.”
Thatch’s eyes just rolled as he folded his arms over his chest. But that worry was still there. Thick and heavy and reaching out to me as I climbed into my truck.
Cranking the engine, I glanced at him through the window and dipped my head in parting before tearing out of the garage, letting all the pain and unknowns and what ifs consume me as I did.
I barely registered the drive or getting into my apartment. I wasn’t sure if I ate, or if I even changed. I was just suddenly in my bed, blankly staring at the ceiling fan’s blades as they spun, replaying Mallory’s wavered,“You? That...that’s a different story,”and thinking about all the possibilities that came with it.
Ishouldn’t have been surprised at the knock that sounded on my front door a couple hours after I made it home from the disastrous security detail.
After all, it was very much like Gray to come back hours later to talk.
However, it was midnight, and the last thing I wanted was to talk to him alone when I’d already embarrassed myself enough for one night. Because, if he got me alone now, I was afraid all my defenses would fall the way they always had whenever it’d just been the two of us, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Not after I’d surely revealed my heart sometime during our elopement. Not after he’d immediately turned around and broken it. Brokenme.
And Iwas. Broken, that is . . .
