Gray curled his free hand around the back of my neck and pulled me close, wrapping me up in his strength and that comforting, woodsy scent.
Once his forehead was lowered to mine, he took slow, measured breaths before saying, “You did nothing—I need you to know that. Even if something happens between now and the end of the pregnancy, I need you to know that you did nothing wrong.” When I didn’t respond, his grip momentarily tightened gently, pleadingly, like he could make me believe him with his touch alone. “But for now, know that our baby is okay. She’s fine. Just because your pregnancy isn’t like Lainey’s doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.”
I lowered my chin in something of a nod, but I knew from the next faint grip on the back of my neck, careful not to pull too tight, that Gray didn’t buy the acknowledgment.
Still, he released me and returned to the new bandage, his voice a gentle tease when he asked, “So, you think we’re having a girl too?”
I pinched his side, since it was all I was allowed to get away with, for now, and relished in the laugh that rumbled from him.
“I don’t,” I claimed. “It just slipped out because you keep saying ‘she’ and ‘her.’”
A doubtful hum rose in his throat as he set the tape onto the vanity behind him. “How’s your back?”
“Fine,” I said automatically, the same response I’d been giving since I’d fully woken in the hospital.
Gray’s eyes searched mine, trying to find the lie, but even though I didn’t feel likeme—even though I got winded and exhausted from doing the smallest things—I really felt fine. Better than I would’ve expected to.
“What were you and Briggs talking about?” I asked when Gray finally released me from his stare and turned to put everything away.
The way he stilled before resuming putting the supplies in the dark cupboard had me doing the same, because I knew in that brief falter that he didn’t want me to know.
“Figuring out next steps,” he finally admitted, voice rough and hesitant.
“Next steps,” I echoed, drawing out the words, “for the Wreckers? For the new family and the club?”
Gray’s heavy exhale was confirmation enough. But he didn’t say anything as he straightened to his full height.
“Without the rest of the team?”
“We were talking about Rush, and it led to that, Peach,” Gray explained as he twisted to lean back against the counter. “We weren’ttryingto make plans without everyone else.”
“But you didn’t want me to know what you were talking about,” I assumed, and knew I’d assumed correctly when his jaw twitched. “Why?”
“Mallory—”
“No,” I snapped and shoved a hand against his chest, ignoring the pull at my back from the rough movement. “I know exactly what you’re about to say, and I wouldneverdo this to you.” His lips parted to explain, but I continued before he could. “I told you, this is my job. Don’t keep me from my job.”
“That was before?—”
“No,” I repeated through clenched teeth. “You got shot, and I waited anxiously until you were back by my side. I didn’t try to tell Briggs that you should be taken off the team or kept from missions. So, don’t let what happened to me change things. Don’t stop me from working.”
“Mallory, you died,” he ground out, gesturing to me like he could make me understand the gravity of that.
“I don’t care,” I shouted as he continued.
“I held you while you died. After they brought you back, I laid beside you while you slowly slipped away from me.”
“And I’m fine now,” I yelled becauseno oneseemed to understand that.
“You’re also pregnant,” he shot back just as fiercely before drawing in a quick breath and dragging his hands through his hair. When he spoke again, his voice was calm and pleading. “I know I can’t stop you from working. As much as I want to lock you away somewhere, I know you’ll find a way to end up in the thick of it because that’s where you want to be, so it’s easier to just let you be there from the beginning. But I’mbegging youto just stop and think about what you’ll be doing andwhoyou’ll be endangering.”
I swallowed thickly, my hands clenched into tight fists at my sides when every part of me was aching to reach for my flat stomach.
For the baby that had distracted me to the point of failing in my mission and letting someone slip up behind me.
Some part of me acknowledged, with how much I worried over her—it—now, I might easily find myself in the same position. But there was a much larger part that couldn’t stand to be kept away from the jobs I’d been training for my entire life.
His head bobbed subtly, as if he could see the internal battle I was fighting. “I won’t keep you from working,” he said as ifhe was carefully choosing his words, “but I will keep you from certain parts of it, and I will ask you to remember that it isn’t justyouwalking into these situations anymore.”
