“I can, and I did!”Bernard saluted them.“I look forward to many more performances, Miss Stevie.Good night.”
Stevie laughed and crossed her arms over her chest.She wondered what it had been like for Ella to grow up in a family like this: a family that put art and music and writing above everything else.Had it been nourishing?Had it forced Ella to put music first at every turn?
“What are you thinking about?”Ella asked, tilting her head back.Her face was shiny from sweating on stage.
“I’m thinking about how much I like your family,” Stevie said, blushing.“It’s really wonderful.Your parents are so supportive, smart, and fun.And your daughter…” She let her gaze flutter to the ground.“She seems to really love you.She seems to want to spend time with you.I mean, she filmed our entire set.”
Ella furrowed her brow and seemed to take a second to make sure they were alone.“Laura doesn’t really want to be here.I mean, it’s complicated, and we’re working through it.But what you saw tonight isn’t the full story.”
Stevie was caught off guard.She hadn’t expected such darkness, such sorrow, not after the night they’d just had with the Copperfields.
Ella’s smile had fallen completely.She busied herself with one of the venue’s napkins, tearing it at the edges.“Laura came home for Thanksgiving and was clearly very upset.We couldn’t figure out what was going on.Finally, she broke down and told me she was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby.
“What’s more, she dropped out of grad school, presumably because she couldn’t carry all of it at once.Needless to say, I freaked out.She came home with us, but I’m not sure that’s what she wants.A young woman like Laura needs to feel like her life is her own.”
Stevie groaned and put her face in her hands.She was inundated with memories.
“I know,” Ella murmured.“I was hesitant to tell you.I know how similar it is to your story.”
“It’s just wild that stories repeat themselves over and over,” Stevie said.“Poor Laura.Where’s the guy?”
“He’s in Brussels,” Ella explained.“He took a job over there and left before he knew about the baby.Laura refuses to tell him about it.She doesn’t want him to abandon his life and resent her and the baby.”
“I can understand that, too,” Stevie said, her throat filling.It really did sound so similar to her own story, a story that had defined her life.“Do you think I should talk to her?”
Ella grimaced.“What would you tell her?”
Stevie laughed.“Honestly?I don’t know if I could tell her anything good.”
“Oh, Stevie.”Ella squeezed her hand.“What’s going on?”
Because Stevie found herself at this moment of tenderness, she couldn’t imagine lying to Ella or backing away.Her vision clouded over.And she found herself in the landscape of just a few months ago, damaging the last connection she had to the one she loved best.
ChapterEleven
During the engagement dinner for Sam and Joni, Stevie did her best to keep her spirits up.Over fancy hors d’oeuvres and fancy glasses of wine and fancy platters of fish, and through boring fancy conversations, Stevie smiled, asked questions, and told herself that it was all for Joni’s future and her love for Sam.Stevie would do anything for her daughter.She’d even learn to love these heinous, wealthy people—people who, she knew, were not entirely unlike Joni’s father’s family.This was nothing Joni knew.But it felt like a bit of irony that only Stevie could hold.
Throughout the wedding preparations, Stevie told Joni to put her to work.“I’ll do whatever you need.I’ll fold invitations.I’ll call the caterers.I’m here.”
But Joni told Stevie that everything was taken care of.“Sam’s family has a vision for the wedding.His mother knows everyone there is to know in the wedding business.They told me to sit back, relax, and lose ten pounds.Ha.”
Over the phone, Stevie hardly recognized her daughter’s voice.It echoed with something like sorrow and something like pretentiousness.When she hung up, tears filled her eyes, but she swallowed down her grief, got in her car, and went to work.Health insurance wouldn’t sell itself.
A few weeks before the wedding, Joni called Stevie again to ask whether she was planning to bring a plus-one.Yet again, Stevie was caught off guard.If she’d had someone to bring, wouldn’t her daughter know about him?Wouldn’t she have called Joni to gush about how in love she was?A previous version of Stevie and Joni would have talked about every element of the man’s character, about what he’d said on the date, about whether or not Stevie was willing to change her entire life for him.
Stevie couldn’t help but see the phone call as proof that Joni didn’t want to know anything about Stevie’s life, not if she could help it.
With all this running wild in Stevie’s mind, she said, “I’m coming alone.”
“Great,” Joni said.“Talk soon.”
On the morning of Joni’s wedding, Stevie sat in the bridal suite and watched her daughter and her daughter’s new glitzy friends get ready.Makeup artists and hairstylists filled the space, cracking jokes and gossiping.Everyone gushed that Joni was “the most beautiful bride,” although, in Stevie’s opinion, Joni looked overdone and unlike herself.A makeup artist tried to attack Stevie’s face with a lipliner, and Stevie had to fight her off.She’d done her makeup at home.She wanted to feel like herself.
Watching the wedding was a little like watching a celebrity wedding on television.Stevie stood where she was supposed to stand and sat where she was supposed to sit.She listened as her daughter said her vows and clapped when she kissed her groom.But with each passing moment, Stevie felt the cracks in her heart deepen.She felt the bonds to her daughter breaking.
At the reception, a few people approached Stevie and asked her about her connection to the bride or groom.Apparently, she was a mystery to everyone there.When she said she was the mother of the bride, they looked surprised, shocked, and asked her immediately what she did for a living.Stevie resented this question.Maybe she resented it because she’d wanted to do music for a living and was about as far from music as she’d ever been.Or perhaps she resented it because it felt so soulless and empty.Regardless, her head spun.
“I sell insurance,” she told them.
