I open my mouth. Close it. “You don’t have to do this.”
“You didn’t have to save her.” The girl brushes the tears from her cheeks and then looks at the horse. “I always had the sense that I was just holding him for his real destiny. I feel as though this is all working out the way it was supposed to.”
I look at the horse properly, although not in the eyes, of course—
Oh, he is even more magnificent up close. And I am struck with the conviction that this big, strong stallion, with his intelligent head carriage, and his long, powerful legs, might well be the only thing that can get me where I need to go.
“I will come back,” I hear myself say. “And I will return him to you.”
This is a terrible vow to make. I can no more ensure I can make the journey, much less swing back through here as a war is started.
“He’s very smart.” The girl runs her hand down his gleaming muzzle. “He’ll pull his head if you let him. And watch his back left shoe. He throws it when he gets bored.”
Then she winds herself around his neck and squeezes. I want to tell her no, just as I tried to stop Lena, just as I wished the maid wouldn’t cook anythingspecial for me. But these gifts that refuse to be denied are filling a place in me that’s so broken, I can’t bear to look too closely at it.
In the village where I spent all my days in service to others I was a pariah. Here, at the Outpost, among strangers, I’m embraced and taken care of.
So much of this destiny of mine has been unexpected and difficult to bear or believe, but this… is a lovely surprise.
The girl smiles even though her heart is clearly breaking. “I would have wanted to give him to you, even if you hadn’t lost your horse. I couldn’t have you leave with what you both did without paying you back in some way.”
“Thank you.”
Though I duck her eyes, I draw her in for an embrace, and I feel her tremble as she holds on to me. Then she pulls back, and straps the pack full of Lena’s clothes behind the saddle.
Where I used to sit.
The enormity of what I’m about to do hits me. Merc was my sword and shield. Now I’m on my own.
The girl offers me a lift up, and the instant I am in the saddle, I feel as though I’ve been astride this horse already. Beneath me, he prances and tosses his head, his platinum mane like a spray of water, but he doesn’t buck and he doesn’t bolt.
Maybe he’s just minding his manners for the moment and all the misbehaving comes later.
“What’s his name?”
“Lavante. In my language, it means wind from the east.” She steps back and crosses her arms over her chest. “He’ll eat anything, by the way. No worries there.”
As she looks out to the pasture, I can feel the energy coursing through the stallion, and he minces his hooves into the slop.
“I’ll take very good care of him.”
“I know you will.” She glances back in my direction. “It’s your nature. And when you find the way impassable and have to return, come here and I’ll check that back shoe while you wait for the water to recede.”
Her sister must have told her my plans.
I’m not coming back, though. And I don’t know what awaits me, but there’s no more time to waste.
“Thank you,” I say again.
Upon the signal of my heel, the stallion—Lavante—surges forward, plunging his hooves into the mud. As we head off in the direction the maid told me to go in, his stride, even with the lousy ground, is smooth as a breeze, and myseat takes to him with such facility, I can’t believe it’s my first time on his back. He also seems to behave himself, listening to the signals of the reins.
I don’t intend to stop again, but as I come up to the pub, the maid is out in front and she has a bundle in her arms. She starts waving as she sees me, and there’s no way I can pass her by. The stallion comes to a halt as she steps off the shallow porch, and given his nicker of greeting, it’s clear they know each other.
“Emma told me she was going to give him to you,” the maid murmurs as she strokes his muzzle.
“I tried not to take him… but she insisted and I am very grateful.”
“I have this for you.” The maid holds out a cloth-wrapped weight. “There are utensils, more bread and cheese, and bladders you can fill for water.”
