Kai didn’t just care, he cared in therightway.
The way that didn’ttakecontrol from me.
The way that felt dangerously close to having a partner.
I swallowed hard, clenching my teeth so hard I feared I might crack a molar. “I don’twantto rely on you.”
God, I hated being this vulnerable. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone seeing me like this, especially Kai, who just held my gaze with his dark eyes and their soft intensity.
“I’m not asking you to rely on me,” he murmured. “I’m telling you I’m here.”
Something ripped through my chest and I forced myself to take a deep breath.
He’s leaving, I chanted in my head.He’s leaving, he’s leaving, he’s leaving.
Kai reached across the table and gently brushed his calloused fingers against mine. The touch was barely there, but I felt it right down to my bones, as though it had shaken my soul.
“And hey,” he added, pushing his shaggy hair out of his face with a crooked, devastating smile, “if I can’t give you money…”
My head snapped up and my eyes narrowed, but he merely gave me one of his trademark warm but earnest and ridiculously handsome smiles.
Ugh, why did he always have to smile? How was I supposed to keep him at a distance when this is what he constantly threw my way? So fucking unfair.
“… I’ll give you everything else.”
Time slowed down, and my heart stuttered in my chest, almost painfully.
Because he meant it.
Because I wanted it.
Because he wasn’t staying.
I drew in a shaky breath and swallowed hard. His dark, intense gaze searched my face before the corner of his mouth tipped up again.
“You don't make promises you can't keep,” I whispered huskily.
“Good thing I intend to keep them,” he said simply, then sighed. “Don’t know how … at least not yet. But I’ll find a way.”
The logical part of my brain immediately declared bullshit. But my heart came to life again, stuttering and sputtering, and yet it only took a minute for it to pound so hard I feared it might burst straight out of my chest.
That’s when I realized with dreadful finality … I wanted to let him try.
God-fucking-damn it.
The rec center didnotsmell glamorous. The lingering scent of rubber mats, cheap popcorn, and body odor, which had been unsuccessfully covered up by questionable body spray, had become so familiar to me by this point.
The air was humid and charged, clinging to my skin and filled with the noise and restless energy of fighters pacing in every corner.
I was used to it, but Kai obviously wasn’t.
The way he walked in, flinching subtly and trying not to breathe too deeply, wasalmostenough to make me forget I was supposed to be nervous.
My name had been scribbled on the sign-up sheet for the regional MMA showcase, wedged between a line-up of men who looked as though they’d sold their souls in exchange for bulk discounts on creatine. Most of them sported headphones and bounced lightly on their toes while glaring at anyone who happened to linger too long.
It would have been intimidating … if half of them didn't also work at the AutoZone down the street.
This wasn’t the UFC.
