“You okay?”
That was it — the thing splitting me straight down the middle. Nobody ever asked me if I was okay. Not like this, not like they really meant it.
I swallowed but it didn’t go anywhere.
“Tori,” he said again, softer this time. “Talk to me.”
“I’m—” My voice cracked. “I’m scared.”
His features softened in a way that made the floor sway.
“Of what?” His fingertips lightly ghosted over the bare skin of my arm.
“Everything,” I whispered hoarsely, blinking rapidly as I looked up at the ceiling. “School. Money. My future. Losing Gran. Losing myself. Losing you.”
His face changed at the last one, but not with pity; it was something deeper.
“Tori,” he murmured, sliding his hand up to cradle the back of my neck. “You’re not losing me.”
“I’m trying to be practical. And realistic. And smart. But…” I sighed and lowered my gaze to my fingers, which were clenched into fists in my lap. “Every version of the future I picture without you feels like I’m … amputating something.” I sucked in a shaky breath and let out a breathy laugh. “You’re it for me, Kai. You’re … you’re my person.”
He moved instantly, kneeling fully in front of me on the bathroom floor and grounding me with his massive palms on my thighs.
“You think you can get rid of me?” His eyebrows were drawn together so severely they formed a deep line. “Love … I’m yours in every way I can possibly come up with. There’s no undoing this, no turning back from us because we’re endgame.”
I shattered into a million tiny pieces, finally succumbing to the emotions that had been welling up inside me for months. Then he kissed my thigh slowly and decisively, almost reverently, and all those tiny fragments glued themselves back together again.
Kai rested his forehead against my knee and I slid a trembling hand into his hair.
“I’ve been living my life like everything was temporary,” I admitted in a low voice, my fingers playing with the slightly wavy strands. “Like I always had tochoose survival over joy. Responsibility over myself. Like wanting anything too much meant I’d lose it.”
Kai didn’t move or interrupt, as if he was afraid of breaking the spell if he did.
“But last night…” My throat tightened, but not from fear. From clarity. “Last night I realized I’m tired of just surviving. I want more. I want my life. And—” I swallowed, heart pounding, “—I want you in it. I-I think … I want to … I just want to be with you. No matter where. If it means giving Australia a try, I will. I’ll —we’llfigure it out. School, visas, whatever it takes. I’ll do it. For us … if that’s something you want, too.”
Kai’s breath whooshed out of him as though I’d knocked the wind from his lungs.
“You sure?” he whispered. “Because I need you to mean it, Tori. Not just for today. Not just until I leave. I need to know you’re choosing me for real.” His hand was shaking as he gripped mine.
“I want you. I choose you,” I affirmed more resolutely.
Kai’s brow furrowed. “What about Janet?”
“Gran … she sees that. She knows what we have isn’t just something fleeting.” I let out a breathy laugh. “To be honest, she’s the one who kicked my ass and made me own up to my feelings. She wants me to go with you, to live my life for me. And that’s what I want … I want forever with you.”
He gazed up at me, his dark eyes impossibly bright, and a gorgeous, breathtaking smile rapidly spread across his face as he rose to his feet.
“You’re really all in?” His voice was tinged with barely restrained urgency.
“Yes. I’m all in.”
“Come here,” he growled softly.
I slid off the stool and into his arms, feeling his warm, solid chest against mine.
His kiss felt more significant than any we’d shared before. It felt like a promise. Like a vow. Maybe even like a beginning.
He pulled back, cupping my face in his hands and staring right into my fucking soul. “I love you.”
