Kai’s hands came up and braced themselves on either side of my head, caging me in without touching me. He was all warmth and strength.
“Kai—”
I shook my head, trying to avert my gaze, but he wouldn't allow it.
“Look at me,” he snarled. “It’s too late for that.”
Suddenly, his voice was not at all like sunshine. It was molten heat and fiercely certain.
My heart crawled up my throat and I tried to force the words out — any words — but they wouldn’t come.
Kai towered over me, pinning me in place with his gaze and surrounding me until all I felt, saw and smelled was him. And all without ever touching me.
“You think you get to decide this by yourself?” he growled. “You think you’re the only one who’s scared?”
He lowered his head until our foreheads almost touched.
“I’m in this. With you. You don’t get to pretend I’m not.”
My knees nearly buckled and the pricking sensation behind my eyes was back.
“Kai…”
He needed to understand. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him. Fuck, I wanted him more than probably anything I’ve ever wanted in my life and it was precisely why I needed to pull the ripcord now.
I’d still be shattered when he eventually left, but I’d pick up the pieces and glue myself back together somehow. If I allowed this to continue though, if I fell even harder and deeper, there would be no coming back from it.
Kai swallowed hard, his eyes dark and unblinking, intensely focused on me. “I’m not walking away from you. I’m not letting you push me out because you’re terrified of what you feel.”
I shook my head helplessly. “You don’t understand. I shouldn’t want this. I can’t want you.”
“But you do,” he determined quietly.
I did.
He’d snuck his way inside my heart and now he was about to steal it, to just take it with him, leaving me behind with a gaping hole in my chest.
I tensed when he finally touched me. Just one hand sliding to my jaw, his calloused thumb brushing lightly over my cheekbone like he was memorizing it.
“And I’m not leaving you,” he whispered. “Not unless you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly, flashes of light exploded behind my closed lids.
I couldn’t say it. Not without lying, not without shattering into a million tiny pieces, not even my determination would be able to put me back together again.
“Tori.” His voice was nothing but a soft whisper, drowning in emotion. “Look at me.”
I obeyed without even wanting to, as if I’d never had a choice … and it fucking ruined me.
Kai looked at me like the answer mattered, likeImattered.
“I’m not trying to trap you. I’m telling you I’m choosing you. I’m all in for as long as you’ll have me.”
I dragged in a shaky breath, trying to keep a clear head.
“Why are you— why do you have to be so … relentless?” I whispered.
Finally, he bent his head enough to press his forehead against mine gently, and it made my eyes sting even more.
