About how a month ago, I would’ve said you were impossible.But now I can’t imagine leaving this town. About how terrified I am of falling for someone who might not catch me.
Clearing my throat, I say, “About the Fireman’s Ball. Do you think you’ll actually enjoy it?”
He narrows his eyes. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
“Because you look like you’d rather face a five-alarm fire than dance at a social event.”
“Dancing isn’t my thing.”
“What is your thing?”
He considers this, looking at me with his hazel eyes. “I’m still figuring that out. But—” he pauses, “—lately, I’ve liked …”
My breath catches.
He squints as if staring into the sun. “I’m not good at feelings, relationships, any of it.” He stares at his hands. “I’ve been accused of pushing people away because, in my mind, it’s safer. Because everyone I’ve ever loved has either left or died, and I can’t—” He stops, jaw ticking. “I don’t know how to do this without screwing it up.”
“Do what?”
Takeout containers forgotten, facing each other, we lean over his desk. The air crackles.
He draws a breath. “Winnie, will you save me a dance at the Fireman’s Ball?”
My heart hammers so hard I’m afraid he can hear it. “Just one?”
“Let’s start with one and see if I survive it.”
“Deal.”
His phone buzzes, breaking the moment. He glances at it and sighs. “Station needs me. Possible gas leak on Cedar Street.”
“Go save the day. That’s kind of your thing.”
He stands, gathering his gear, but pauses at the door. “Wenever did look over those contracts. So maybe tomorrow night, I’ll make dinner.”
“Sure. I can bring?—”
“Just come over. It’s not a date.”
Then he’s gone, leaving me alone with cold Chinese food and a heart with a hole burned through it.
I’m supposed to make him smile at the Fireman’s Ball and get him to let loose, so I win the challenge. But now it feels more wrong because he’s already told me he’s trying. Because whatever is happening between us might be real and not a game.
And because I’m terrified that when he finds out about the bet, he’ll think the worst.
I look at his empty chair and make a decision.
I’ll tell him and back out of the bet before the Ball. Before things go too far.
I’ll be honest and hope he understands.
But first, I have a not-date tomorrow night.
And if I’m being honest with myself, I can’t wait.
19
PATTON
