James passes Patton a piece of paper and he stamps it. Then, before he exits, he says, “Oreo only likes people with good hearts. Either that or you keep bacon in your desk drawer.”
“Get out of here,” Patton all but growls to his crew members.
“For the record, I don’t have bacon.”
James winks.
Hayes edges closer, all baby-faced charm. “That was pretty intense. Are you sure you’re okay? I could post up in your office and make sure no other wildlife attacks?—”
“She’s fine.” Patton’s voice cuts through the room like a blade. The muscle in his jaw ticks, and he’s looking at Hayes with an expression that could freeze water.
Hayes backs up, hands raised as he leaves. “Just checking.”
Oreo hasn’t left my side, his tail thumping against my leg. Other than the dog, Patton and I are alone. I should take this opportunity to discuss our meeting, but instead, I say, “Your dog has terrible loyalty.”
“He’s the station dog and this is unusual behavior. He’s typically cautious around strangers. Must be something in the air, given the squirrel’s visit.”
“I’m not a stranger. I’ve worked here for over six months.”
“He barely tolerates most people.”
I’m not sure if Patton is referring to himself or the dog. “What can I say? I’m very likable.”
Patton makes a sound that might be a scoff or a laugh. It’s impossible to tell. “We need to fill out the incident report.”
“For a squirrel?” I ask.
“Protocol.”
“Let’s get this over with,” I say.
“First question. Was the wildlife aggressive, passive, or neutral?”
“Aggressive.”
Patton writesPlayful.
“Excuse me? It threw acorns at us.”
“So intensely aggressive?” he asks, eyebrow quirked.
“Well, that seems a tad extreme. It was relatively harmless.”
“Then why did you call for help?”
I wince. He has a point.
“Next question. Describe in detail the capture method used.” Patton starts writing. I lean over and read the words as they appear. “‘Subject attempted multiple failed capture methods?—’”
I snatch the pen. “I was strategizing!”
“You were hiding behind your desk and holding a broom.”
“It was for my own safety.”
“So was the squirrel a threat or not?”
We argue through every question—whether my office door was “secured” (it was closed, which is basically the same thing), whether backup was “necessary” (it was helpful, not essential), and whether the incident posed “significant risk to personnel.”
