No. This wasn’t how our love story ended.Fuckthat.
At a minimum, Marissa owed me an explanation.
Two seconds after she walked out, I strode through my house and swung my front door wide.
She hadn’t made it far.
She was standing on my porch, staring out into the snowy driveway, probably realizing for the first time that she was stuck out here with me.
I realized this might be the last moment I’d ever have to make things right. I couldn’t fuck this up.
“Marissa,” I said gently, “are you okay with what happened last night? I don’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you.”
She clutched herself and looked down, her cute cheeks flushing. “Take advantage of me? We were two consenting adults. Of course you didn’t take advantage of me. I had fun, just like you did.”
“Fun, yeah,” I didn’t like her reducing what we’d had to just a bit a fun. A gruffness filtered into my voice, “I thought, well, last night I thought we both wanted the same thing. But this morning you’re trying to high-tail it out of here so fast it makes me wonder if I was mistaken.”
Marissa looked up at me in surprise. “No. Don’t think that. I obviously wanted you, too. I guess we just didn’t think about the reality of a morning after. It’s a little awkward.”
“It doesn’thaveto be. I can drive you home now if that’s what you want. But shouldn’t we talk about last night first? About what it meant?”
She let out a hysterical little laugh, holding herself tight, and that’s when I noticed the pain in her eyes. “Don’t worry, Sawyer. I’m not Avery. I won’t make the same mistake she did. I know we were just a hookup. And it was fun, but now it’s time to get back to real life, right?”
“What?” the question exploded out of me as the future I’d seen with this woman disintegrated in front of me.
It was time for the truth, regardless of how it might betray Matt.
I couldn’t let her leave here today without telling her some serious truths. “Is that all you wanted it to be, Rissy? Because I kind of thought we were both on the same page that this was… something more. I mean, I said… well, you know what I said.”
She blinked up at me as she held herself tighter. “Sawyer, I know you could have any woman on this mountain. I know you’re not going to settle for someone like me. It’sokay. I’ll be fine.”
“But last night I told you I wanted…” The rest of the words wouldn’t form, but that didn’t matter. She knew exactly what I was talking about.
“What? To be the father of my babies? I thought that was you sweet-talking me into your bed. Wasn’t that a pickup line?”
Marissa looked completely dejected. She stood there on my porch, cold, vulnerable, and anxious.
I ran a hand through my hair. I wanted to tug her back inside. This conversation was too important to have in the freezing cold. But I stood rooted in place.
“Rissy, I meant every word I said last night. You’re the only woman my heart has ever beat for. But if you don’t feel the same way, I won’t make it awkward for you.”
Her mouth dropped open as my words filtered into her brain. “You mean… but I thought I was just another playdate.”
That’s when I realized she’d been running from me all morning because she was afraid of being rejected. I pulled her close, holding her in my arms. She felt so soft, molded just for me. How could she not realize we were a perfect fit?
Her name slipped out of my mouth again, intimate and familiar, “Marissa, last night changed my life. I can drive you home now. Or to the bar to get your car. And we can move on like nothing happened if that’s what you want. But I’m a man who believes in saying my piece, so you’re going to have to hear me out first. I didn’t think this was a one-time thing. Did I misread you last night? Just say the word and I’ll back off, but…” and then I jumped off the cliff entirely, my whole truth spilling out, “… I love you. I’ve been in love with you for so long it’s like you’re a part of me. I don’t want this to be a fuck-and-forget thing. ButI’ll respect it if that’s what you want. You just tell me how this is going down. I’ll follow your lead on this because I want to do right by you.”
She pulled out of my arms and blinked up at me, her eyelashes fluttering wildly as her breath came out in tiny, uneven explosions.
“What did you just say?”
I leaned against the jamb of my door while Josie swirled around my feet. “You want me to repeat the whole thing? Uh, well, look, I don’t regret what happened last night. Matt’s going to kill me, but I can’t stand the idea of you leaving the mountain without at least knowing how I feel first. On your eighteenth birthday Matt made me swear I’d never date you. But I can’t keep living with a lie between us. The truth is, I’ve always wanted you. I’veonlywanted you. And it was only out of respect for him that I’ve stayed away. If there’s any chance that you feel the same way, I’d kick myself all the way to my grave for not telling you how I feel… especially since you’re threatening to move off the mountain.”
Her pretty mouth dropped open, perfect lips forming into a surprised o, “Sawyer? Are you saying that…”
“That Iloveyou. That I’m in love with you. That I’ve never loved anyonebutyou. How much clearer can I get, woman?”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and she quivered where she stood.
