Ben grinned.That part, he had predicted correctly.Phil could not resist the opportunity to inundate people with gifts.
Phil flicked him on the nose.
The casual touch sent a spark of heat down Ben’s spine.It didn’t mean anything; Phil hadn’t pulled away like Ben expected him to, but he also hadn’t come any closer.Ben understood why.He’d come on pretty strong, the last vestiges of his Mormon upbringing coming through in his insistence that marriage had to mean something.He’d been positive it would be a flat “no” from Phil, but that last moment, when he’d asked for a chance… A foolish part of Ben held on to hope something more would come of it, even if he knew it was better to call it quits now.They might even salvage a friendship, which would be good for Charlie.
They skipped a traditional Christmas morning.Ben remembered what those were like with his family, extremely rote and ritualized, and he had no need for more.They ate the same freshly baked cinnamon buns every year, stuffed chock-full with raisins.Ben hated raisins.When he was six, he gagged and spit up his entire breakfast, and then he had to stay in his room until noon and missed all the presents.His older brother got to unwrap his and left them in a pile by the door.
All the girls had to wear dresses, usually in some sort of festive plaid, and all the boys had to wear ties.Before anyone got presents, they had to sit through interminable photo sessions on the freshly steam-cleaned couch, and then the gifts were unwrapped carefully one by one.
At Phil’s house, they exchanged gifts with Charlie over coffee at the breakfast table.Charlie got Ben a T-shirt that read “Go Unspecified Sports Team” with an older version of the Sea Lions’ logo, prominently featuring the heinous mascot, which he and Phil both thought was hilarious.He gave Phil a Spotify playlist to force Phil to, in his words, “listen to something from this decade.”
Ben tensed in his seat, ready to tell his nephew he ought to treat Phil with more respect after everything Phil had done for him, but Phil laughed out loud in delight.
“You can’t tell the guys,” he said, making Charlie promise.“Or they’ll all make me listen to whatever terrible country star is big right now.”
The gift became even funnier when Phil gave Charlie a Spotify account without the ads, as well as tickets to see some superhero movie they’d apparently been talking about.
“Way to make me feel bad about my present,” Ben said to Phil before handing it to Charlie.
He’d used the gift-wrap station at CVS.It felt like entering a different world.All he’d gifted for the last few years were small things to people he’d worked with, mostly consumables.Once or twice, he’d had a boyfriend, but Ben had never made it to an elaborate gifting stage.At most, he’d gifted a meal out or a night in.Wrapping something properly by hand for the first time in years was oddly, cathartically reminiscent of home.He remembered how to fold the edges so it would come out nicely; he remembered how to make an accent stripe with the reverse side of the paper.Ben even remembered how to tie a fancy knot in the ribbon.In his mom’s house, gift wrapping was a competitive sport, and sloppy packages weren’t put under the tree.
Charlie unwrapped it hesitantly, reverently.
Of course it couldn’t compare to Phil’s presents.It was an empty book.
“It’s a photo album,” Ben rushed to explain, feeling clumsy with his words in a way he usually didn’t.“I thought.Um.Well, I know you left a lot behind.I wanted you to know you can make new memories here.Good memories.I hope.”
It wasn’t a huge or expensive gift, but Charlie beamed at him, so Ben felt secure in the knowledge he hadn’t entirely fucked up the guardianship thing on this one occasion.
His present for Phil was in his pocket, but Phil made no move to offer him something, so Ben hung on to it.He would rather exchange gifts with Phil in private anyway.
Phil took them to Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast at the drive-thru.He handed the cashier a hundred-dollar bill and told him to keep the change, which on Ben’s personal scale of displays of wealth sided firmly on acceptable.
When they finished consuming enough sugar to make Ben’s heart race, they drove over to the shelter.
Since it had been his (or rather, Charlie’s) idea, Breezy and Jax had Phil keep all the presents for the shelter kids in Phil’s car.They’d taken a few of Charlie’s suggestions, but the majority were surprises.Both of them, as well as Tom Crowler and Luca Mazetti, waited at the curb as they pulled up.
Breezy bounced on the balls of his feet.“Finally!”
“Someone’s excited,” Ben said.
“He actually enjoys spending time with his family,” Phil explained.“Break’s too short to fly out, so this is the closest he’s come to a family Christmas in three years.”
“Hi, Coach.”Jax, Tom, and Luca all said it at the same time, which made them look at one another in surprise and then laugh.
It made Ben feel like the math teacher in an unruly grade seven.
“Merry Christmas,” he said.“You’ve all met my nephew, Charlie, right?”
Luca hadn’t—since he hadn’t been at any of the practices with the shelter kids Charlie had attended—but Charlie waved at them all so awkwardly as he hopped out of the SUV that Ben didn’t want to subject him to any introductions.Charlie looked set to slip past them and go straight inside, but then he squared his shoulders and looked at Jax.
“Um, I just wanted to say thanks for doing this.It’s really cool you guys are making an effort for, uh, people like me.”
His face was tomato red by the time he finished, and he looked pleadingly to Ben, at which point Ben remembered Charlie was used to being completely beholden to all adults present, more so around Christmas.More harrowingly, he saw Ben as a responsible adult.
“Go ahead,” Ben said.
Charlie vanished so quickly he might as well have left a cartoon puff of air behind.
