sealionsfan8216: The Sea Lions would never trade Phil!
(From “Mazetti on a Roll: How the Sea Lions’ Call-Up Shapes Up,” by Olivia Starling.Printed inThe San Francisco Herald, 12/11/2024)
In the end, the D-man dinner became a D-man brunch before the team flew out on their SoCal roadie.Finding a restaurant they could all agree on took a solid day.And then Phil got too busy with Ben and Charlie, and the team had games and practices scheduled around the clock.That was what it was like in the NHL, Phil thought with a pang.Between October and April, life was composed of practices, games, endless travel, and protein shakes.He’d only been out for a few weeks, but already, the structures and routines of his life were different.He couldn’t imagine never going back to the only job he’d ever known.He also couldn’t imagine having to hop on a plane right after brunch today, leaving Charlie to fend for himself.
The upcoming flight stopped everyone from ordering the bottomless mimosa option, which was probably good given the tension.The team had three D-pairs: Breezy and Luca, Hayes and Kaarlo Nieminen, and Oliver Gustafsson and Mats Rütli.
Immediately after taking his place in the restaurant, Phil could tell where the problems lay.Luca sat at the end of the table with Breezy on one side and Mats across from him.They chatted in easy, fluent Italian.Hayes was all the way at the other end, monopolizing Ollie, who looked less than thrilled, while Kaarlo stayed largely silent between the two groups.
“Hey, Mats,” Phil called.“Since when do you speak Italian?”
“I’m Swiss,” Mats told him.
“So?”
“Switzerland has four languages,” Kaarlo explained.“They have to learn them all.”
“You speakfourlanguages?”Phil asked.Mats was an all right D-man, not solid enough for the penalty kill but enough to pad out the third D-pair.Phil had no idea what other talents he might possess.
“Well, yes,” Mats said.“But English is one.Almost no one speaks Romansch.”
“Now I feel bad,” Phil said.“I barely speak English.”
“If it helps, Breezy’s Italian is very bad.”Luca ducked away from Breezy swatting at him.
“Better than your French,” Breezy muttered.
Right.Sometimes Phil forgot that being from Montreal meant Breezy was capable of being Breezy multilingually.
“So,” Phil said.“Since we’re on the subject of cultural sensitivity.”
Ollie groaned.“Why am I here?I had nothing to do with this.”
Mats and Kaarlo raised their coffee cups in agreement.
“Are you saying none of you were even a tiny bit annoyed that the new guy got promoted above you?”Phil raised his eyebrows.“Sorry, Luca.”
Luca shrugged.“I would be very annoyed.I did not make the decision.”
“But you are not mad about it either.”Mats laughed, leaning back in his chair.“Look, I know what kind of hockey player I am.I don’t have the edgework Luca brings to the table, and I’m nowhere near as fast.”
Hayes snorted, sinking lower in his seat.
Phil looked to him.
“What about your legacy, man?”Hayes asked.“The average NHL player stays in the show for five years.Gotta make ‘em count.”
“My legacy is the vacation house in the Alps I will buy for my wife and children,” Mats said peaceably.“Maybe I find a nice little kids’ team in Locarno somewhere to coach if I get bored.It’s a good life.”
“You’ve been in the NHL for ten years and counting,” Breezy pointed out to Hayes.“Plenty of time to make a legacy.”
“Yeah, well, guess I’m greedy.”
It went without saying that Hayes wouldn’t make the Hall of Fame.He was a good defenseman, but he wasn’t the kind who won trophies.
Phil had one, a Norris from his third year in the NHL, the first time the Sea Lions made the playoffs.They got trounced in the second round by Seattle, which had been mortifying at the time, but Phil’s seventy-three-point season and decent PK stats during playoffs had netted him the trophy.Of course, half of hockey media called him overrated and lucky.He liked to think he’d proven them wrong.He’d had a few fifty-point seasons since, and the year he blew his knee the first time, he’d made it past sixty.If the Sea Lions won a cup, he might have a slim chance at the Hall of Fame.
Hayesie was shit out of luck.
