Chapter thirty-seven
The second the sisters deemed me ready, I hurried out the door in an effort to avoid Dey. He must have anticipated my preparation taking longer because he was nowhere in sight, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I made my way toward the stairs.
I slowed as I approached Sin’s room. I wanted to knock and see if he would escort me to dinner. I wanted to nestle my head against his shoulder and breathe in his comforting scent. Hell, if I was being completely honest, what I really wanted was for him to pull me inside and ravage me until I forgot every fucked-up thing I learned today.
Heat pulsed between my thighs, and I found myself moving closer to his door as if drawn to him. One single tap of my knuckles against the wood. That’s all it would take, and we could fall into his bed, remaining there until I explored every inch of his body so thoroughly that I knew it better than my own.
Despite the intense desire coursing through me, I couldn’t lift my arm to knock. That intensity was also a warning. Sin was fastbecoming an addiction I couldn’t resist. A single taste, a single caress, and I would crumble like a sand castle at high tide.
Walking past his room was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, and I felt like I deserved a reward for showing such restraint.
Thankfully, dinner was fairly uneventful. Neither Jo nor Sin were present, which I found to be a bit odd but ultimately for the best as they would likely have been a distraction that might cause me to slip up and reveal something about my new ability.
For most of the meal, I had to sit through my father making a painstakingly long speech about the upcoming Elemental Games and the banquet that we would be hosting for the competitors the following night. If Dey’s whispered translation was even partially accurate, it sounded like the whole thing would be a political quagmire.
When I felt like I had stayed long enough, I gave Dey and my father a polite good night and hurried to my room.
As I swung open my door and stepped into the darkened chambers, two assailants burst from the shadows. It was only by a sheer miracle that I managed to choke down the high-pitched shriek of alarm. They launched a dual pronged assault, with Opal going high to crash into my hair while Jenni went low, slipping under my dress to nip at my ankles.
“Okay, okay, ouch! All right,” I managed to get out between laughs. “I’m sorry I left you alone, but I brought you some food.”
That must have been the magic word because they flew up to hover in front of my face, waiting expectantly.
I had no idea what crescia ate, so I had snuck a couple handfuls of nuts, seeds, and berries off my plate at dinner, filling the small pockets of the half jacket that had gotten more than afew snide looks. I dumped the pile of food onto my nightstand and waited to see what they would do.
Opal hung back while Jenni made a circle around the bounty. After careful examination, she plucked a small berry off the pile and carried it over to her friend. Opal didn’t hesitate, she mashed her face into the berry, her tiny mandible reducing the fruit to a pile of mush in seconds. Beside her, Jenni promptly began chewing happily on the kinna seeds.
I left them to their meal while I shed my dress and collapsed onto the bed. With the effort of maintaining appearances all night behind me, my brain wanted to think of nothing save for Sin and his absence at dinner. Was he avoiding me? Did he have time to think and decided that he actually wanted nothing to do with me?
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the physical sensations around me before my mind was lost to another anxiety spiral. The softness of the mattress underneath me. The slight pressure around my ribs from the lace up bra. The warmth radiating from the fireplace. I cycled through each sensation, blocking out the cascade of vicious thoughts that wanted to tear me apart. Despite my best efforts to ground myself, I started to reach for a Klonopin.
Then I recalled Sin’s words to Dey.
“She’s not broken.”
“She just needs to work through it.”
The memory swept through me on a calming wave, and I forced myself to lie still and wait for the anxiety to pass, focusing on Sin’s face in my mind.
When I finally felt like I could breathe normally, I sat up in bed. Both crescia had stopped eating and were staring at me.
“Sorry,” I said, leaning over and petting Jenni. “I’m afraid you bonded to damaged goods.”
“Perfect Rain.”
The gentle words floated through my head, and I laughed. “No, Jenni. Not perfect. Not perfect by far.”
“Rain sad.”
“Not sad really,” I said as she flew over and landed on my thigh. “Confused, I guess. I’m not sure what to do about Sin.”
“Rain and Sin happy.”
“I don’t know Jenni,” I said, running a pinky over her glittering scales. “I don’t know if Rain and Sin can be happy.”
“Rain and Sin happy,”she reiterated, then nipped at my skin to accentuate her point before flying back to her meal.
I closed my eyes and pictured Sin in my head. I didn’t have to wonder what he looked like underneath his tunic anymore. I had my hands all over his smooth chest and toned abdominals only hours ago, but I never got his breeches off. Never got to feel his hard length in my hands. And judging by what I felt as I had ground my hips against him, I would not be disappointed when I unwrapped his package.
