I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stop what was happening in front of me. The memory began looping, replaying his words over and over again. I had wanted to latch onto something, and I finally managed it.
“I love you too much.”
Except it couldn’t be this. Anything but this.
“I love you too much.”
I had to get out. Had to stop it.
“I love you too much.”
I needed to break the loop. Needed to wake up.
“I love you too much.”
My brain was on fire, burning with the intensity of the memory.
“I love you too much.”
I just. Needed it. To stop.
“I love you too much.”
“No you don’t!” I screamed, and was hurled violently out of the memory, flung backward through time. I couldn’t stop the screaming as I tumbled through my own mind, caught up in a tornado of memories, forced to see every interaction I ever had with Sin right up until he slammed me against the wall the first night we met.
The force of the impact ripped me from the dream state, and I shot upright in bed, still screaming that he couldn’t love me. Not like that. I didn’t deserve it.
Because I was far too broken to ever be able to love him back.
Chapter thirty-two
Judging by the faint sliver of light peeking in through my curtains, it was still quite early. The sisters wouldn’t be in to wake me for some time, but there was no way I could possibly go back to bed. I couldn’t risk falling into my memories again. Intothatmemory.
I threw on the first clothes I saw and stormed out of my room. I would wait in the library until Corym showed up and demand that he fix whatever went wrong with the language transfer. I needed to be able to understand people, speak to them, not just relive memories every time I closed my eyes.
Pushing open the entrance to the library, I noticed light spilling out from under the door to Corym’s back office. I didn’t even stop to wonder why he would be awake at this time. I just marched over to the door and yanked it open.
“Corym, I need to talk to—” The words caught in my throat as I scrambled to understand what I was looking at. Flashes of my past filled my vision.
The sharp edge of a knife.
Smooth skin being sliced up.
A pool of blood.
My feet were in motion before I even knew what was happening.
I ripped Corym off the sofa and flung him against the wall. “Stop! You’re killing him!”
Corym was a scholar, not a fighter, so he hit the wall hard and slid to the floor.
I rushed to the sofa and knelt by Sin who lay prone, his eyes wide in fear. I forced myself not to look at his back. At the mess of blood and flesh I’d seen when I opened the door. Oh God, could he even survive that?
“Sin, what did he do to you?” I brushed a lock of sweaty hair out of his face. “Tell me how to help you.” I worried that I was too late. Too late to stop whatever torture Corym had done.
“Rain,” Sin said with a slight tremor to his voice. “I need you to listen to me very carefully.”
“Yes, of course, whatever you need me to do.” I tried so hard not to look, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from flickering past his shoulder to the gore beyond. It was so much worse than what I had endured.
