Sin carefully set me on my feet but maintained his hold around my arms, keeping me steady as my legs shook.
He rotated me slowly, and the ocean came into view. The mist glowed with the flaming light of the setting suns in a glorious display of exploding color. A breeze ruffled through my hair, and I couldn’t tell if I was scenting Sin or the actual ocean. I didn’t care either way. The smell of fresh salty air surrounded me, and the tightness in my chest began to ebb, my heartbeat slowing to a reasonable pace.
I noticed Sin staring at me cautiously, as if afraid I might shatter in his arms. I took a deep breath, relishing the cool air as it coated my lungs and hazarded a smile at him.
He smiled back, the first genuine smile I had seen on his face, and I did shatter then. Every ounce of anger and frustration I felt toward him burst into countless glittering shards, and I knew I would do anything he asked, run a million miles or lift a thousand pounds of weight, if it meant he would keep smiling at me like that.
A cough sounded over his shoulder, and the smile dropped away as storm clouds rolled over his face once again.
I pulled myself from his arms, my legs feeling steady enough to stand on their own and glanced over to see Dey glaring at Sin from against the wall of the turret, his arms crossed, muscles still tight with anger.
Sin gave me one last lingering look, then left down the stairs, muttering something in Rivellan to Dey as he passed.
I cautiously approached Dey and placed my hand over his chest where a rip in his blood-stained tunic was the only remaining evidence of the injury.
“You’re healed,” I said quietly, not ready to look him in the eye yet.
“Yes,” he replied, his arms relaxing to his sides. “I am a fast healer. That was not our first fight, nor will it be the last.”
“But it was the first fight you had over me.” I forced myself to meet the pained expression on his face. “I don’t belong to either of you, Dey. I’m not staying here longer than a few more weeks. You shouldn’t be fighting over me.”
“I know, Princess,” he said, caressing my shoulders. “I know that you are not mine. Sin told me that he kissed you in the heat of the moment and that it was a mistake, but the thought of his lips on yours…” Dey swallowed roughly. “Sin is not who you think he is. And he had no right to touch you.”
My mouth opened to correct him. To tell him that I kissed Sin, not the other way around. Before I could get anything out, Dey put two fingers to my lips.
“You do not need to apologize,” he said, misreading my thoughts. “I should not have reacted in such a way. I am displeased that you saw me like that. I do still hope that I can be better for you.”
We stayed like that for little more than a few seconds, then he pulled back and straightened. “Stay up here as long as you like. The setting suns are quite magnificent. I will have the servants bring dinner to your chambers. King Verren will understand.”
He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead, then headed back down the stairs.
I don't know how long I stayed there, staring out over the calm blue waters of the ocean. I imagined hopping on one of the small boats and disappearing into the mist, leaving all of my troubles behind me.
It would be pointless to escape, though.
Not even the suffocating fog that hovered just beyond the bay would be enough to save me from myself.
Chapter twenty-four
I was surprised to see neither Sin nor Dey at breakfast the next morning but at the same time grateful for the brief reprieve. I had no idea what I was going to say to Sin after last night. Every thought I had about him was jumbled up with mixed signals and confusion. One minute he was a colossal asshole, and the next he was saving me. One minute he’s kissing me with a blazing passion, and the next he’s telling Dey that it was a mistake. Though I might be partially to blame for that one. I did tell him that I thought it was a mistake first, if only out of self-preservation.
I still didn’t know if it actually was a mistake. All the same reasons I never went there with Dey applied to Sin as well, and yet… my resistance for Sin was so much weaker. Now every time I saw him I’d be thinking of how his body had felt wrapped around mine, how his lips had burned against my own. I wanted to feel that again, to feel more even, and that was a problem I didn’t know how to solve.
“Are you well this morning, Raynella?” my father asked, taking his seat at the table. I hadn’t seen him since we made the deal yesterday, and I would be content with avoiding him as much as possible. He made it clear all he wanted from me was to fulfill the prophecy, and I could do without the fake fatherly concern in the meantime. Or maybe the concern wasn’t fake—I was important to his kingdom after all—it just wasn’t fatherly.
“I’m fine,” I said curtly, focusing on the plate of food being set in front of me.
“Raynella, you do know that you can talk to me if you wish,” he said with a sigh. “I know everything that happened yesterday. There is little in this castle that happens that I am not informed about.”
I almost choked on the pastry I was chewing. I really hoped no one had told him about me kissing Sin. The rumors about Cam and I were bad enough.
“If you know everything then you know I’m fine,” I said before taking a sip of kinna juice to clear my throat.
“Yes, well, you do seem to be in good health this morning. I hope the events of yesterday can be left in the past where they belong.”
I had no idea exactly what events he was referring to—the kiss, the rumors, the fight, or the panic attack—but I was more than happy to let all the subjects drop. “So where are Dey and Sin?” I asked casually.
He steepled his hands under his chin. “Ah, yes. My Cennux and my Foster. They do seem to be at the forefront of your thoughts these days.”
