Struggle, struggle, struggle. It was all I saw. Every one of them struggled to do things that would be so simple if they only lived a few miles closer to the castle.
I spent my whole life below the poverty line, barely able to make ends meet, but I always believed that if I worked hard enough, trained with my violin long enough, maybe things could change.
These people couldn’t even have the dream. Only the cold, hard reality that their lives would never be more than what they were now.
“How do they live like this?” I asked Sin, my voice laced with despair.
“They don’t, Fea Remia. They only survive. It’s all they can do. The people here will only ever go as far as the ramentum on their arms allows, and for most, this is the end of the line.” He gestured to the ramshackle homes falling apart around us.
“Nobody should ever be okay with this,” I declared as we crossed down another alleyway. My mind was running rampant with thoughts I was afraid to voice, but the more I saw of the city around me, the more I had to know. Gripping Sin’s hand tight, I forced the question out. “Do you think restoring the lines will change things for them? If it returns their full access to magic?”
Sin flinched slightly, and I nearly missed it. I recalled how hard he tried to convince me to abandon the prophecy. To leave the ley lines as they were because he said the risk wasn’t worth it.
“Maybe,” he admitted. “Maybe it will change everything. And maybe it will change nothing. People in power tend to want to stay in power.”
I bit my lip. “Do you think if I agreed to stay here as princess—and I’m not saying I am—but if I was… do you think I would be able to change anything?”
His hold on my hand tightened as he lifted it to press a kiss to my knuckles. “I don’t know. I won’t hide the fact that I want you to stay. When you first arrived I could think of nothing beyond getting you to leave. To go back to your world where you would be safe. I would have spent my very long existence alone, comforted by the knowledge that this place could never harm you. But now that I’ve touched you…” He paused for a beat. “…tasted you. I can’t fathom the thought of letting you go. It doesn’t matter who you are—a princess, a queen, a human from Jersey—I will never be worthy of you. There is so much in my past that I can never atone for, but I would do everything in my power to earn your trust, and your love, if you stay here.” He swallowed. “If you stay with me.”
There it was. The topic we had been tiptoeing around since yesterday, neither of us willing to bring it up for fear of what might be said.
I leaned forward and sank into the warmth of his lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against him, deepening the kiss. We devoured each other, forgetting for a moment that we probably shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves. I couldn’t help it. I let his dark ocean scent wash over me for as long as possible.
We couldn’t avoid the conversation forever, though. Resting my cheek against his shoulder, I whispered, “You could come back to Jersey with me.”
Sin’s hands at my low back gripped me tighter, as if he was afraid to let me go. “I can’t, Rain, I’m a Vitaean. We need access to the Source. It killed me a little every time I visited your world. I felt like I was missing an intrinsic part of me, like a piece of my soul was just gone. I can’t live like that.”
I wondered if I would feel like that when I went home. Would I miss my magic? Would I miss it enough to abandon Jenn forever? I couldn’t imagine anything feeling bad enough to do that.
“So you have to stay, and I have to go.”
Sin shut his eyes tightly. “That’s what it sounds like.”
I ran a hand over the deep furrow in his brow. “So what does that mean for you and me?”
He opened his eyes, and my knees practically buckled at the heartache I saw in them. “It means that either way l lose part of my soul.”
A tear slid down my cheek. Then another. I wiped them away, cursing my inability to hold them back when I was usually so good at that. “Why is my stupid heart making me feel like this?”
“Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
His words were knives that stabbed my soul, and the tears only poured out faster at how casually he quoted my favorite line from The Wizard of Oz. The motto I based my entire life on because it never failed me. And the first time I decided to ignore it and let someone into my heart, was the first time I was reminded why it was such a bad idea. Because my heart was breaking right now.
“Don’t cry, Fea Remia,” Sin said, lifting my face with a single finger and brushing away my tears. “There’s still the possibility that we both die in the dark forest before you even have the chance to leave me.”
I barked out a sharp laugh and jabbed him in the chest. “Oh my God, Sin, did you really just say that?”
He smirked. “I got you to stop crying though, didn't I?”
I sniffed, but there were no more salty droplets streaming down my cheeks. He always knew how to save me from myself.
Refusing to fall back into the despair of losing him, I decided it was time for me to do what I did best. Avoidance and dismissal.
“So I don’t see any shops around which I guess means you’re taking me to my mom’s place?”
“It’s right around the corner,” he said, but when I turned in that direction he put a hand on my shoulder. His face darkened, any semblance of the earlier levity gone. “All joking aside, I know you’re planning to fulfill the prophecy before you leave, and I need you to know, Rain, that I will not let you restore the ley lines if it means you might be harmed in the process. I would let them suffer, all of them, if it keeps you alive. I won’t apologize for that.”
I gulped, hearing the truth in his voice.
