“I’ve got the same craving,” he replied with a wink.
They found a German restaurant and ordered a plate of sausages, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, pork knuckle, and a bottle of red wine. The food was delicious, smothered in mustard and packed with flavour.
After she’d eaten as much as she could manage, Matilda leaned back in her chair with a sigh and patted her stomach. “That was amazing. I wish I could eat more, but there’s no way I can fit another bite into my belly.”
“It’s good to see you eating again. You’d lost your appetite lately.”
“You noticed that?”
“Of course. You’re getting thin. I worried, but didn’t want to make you feel worse by saying something. I’m glad you’re doing better…”
“You can always speak up, you know. I don’t want you to feel as though I’m so fragile that you can’t share concerns with me. You’ve held so much in lately, not telling me how you really felt about the clinic, or the stress you’ve seen me under. I don’t want you to hold back. I want you to be honest with me. Talk to me about things.” She hadn’t known he’d been so reluctant to speak his mind and wondered what had caused him to feel that way.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m not used to it. My parents don’t really talk about anything. In my family, problems, stress, conflict—it all gets pushed under the rug and we don’t deal with it. We ignore it and move on with a smile.”
She laughed. “In my family, we shout about it, have a huge fight, and then forgive and make up.”
“That doesn’t sound very appealing either. Perhaps we could find a happy middle ground.”
“A new family tradition…”
“We talk about things, without shouting, and then we move forward with a smile. A combo, if you will.”
“A combo. I like that. I don’t want you to see me as this injured little bird you have to take care of. I want us to be equal partners. To share everything together. And if you’re worried about something, or you think I’m heading down the wrong track, you should speak up. I can handle it. In fact, I’ll feel a lot better knowing I don’t have to shoulder the burden alone, that you’re in it with me. I’ve felt alone over the past few months — the clinic has been my responsibility. And I get that you have your own business to worry about, but I would’ve loved you to pipe up a little more often.”
He sighed and reached for her hand across the table. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should’ve said more. I could see you were floundering, but I didn’t want to overstep. I thought you’d see it as interfering, and I know you’re really capable.”
“We’re both capable, but it doesn’t mean we want to do it alone.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to manage on my own either.”
“Good. I’m glad.” She smiled and wound her fingers through his. “Now, do you think we could find nice brandy somewhere? I’d like a nightcap before bed. Then I want you all to myself.”
He grinned. “I’m sure we can manage that.” He signalled for the bill, and the waiter hurried it to the table.
Then, arm in arm, they returned to their hotel room by way of a convenience store. Matilda couldn’t remember feeling so at ease, relaxed, and happy. She felt a peace that she’d done the right thing, and she couldn’t wait to see what the future might hold.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
When Jessica hung up the phone, she had tears sliding down her cheeks. She’d told her parents all about the situation with Hilton, and they’d been very upset. Her mother had cried; her father had been silent and then angry. She couldn’t blame them, but it made her feel powerless to be in another state with only a phone connecting them. She wanted to be there with them, to be able to embrace them, feel their love through a soft touch, and hear it in their words. It was hard being so far away.
And the things they’d said had made her anxiety rise again. Her father told her that there was a good chance Hilton would get away with what he’d done, that he would get out and do it again, that she needed to take better care of herself. Then he asked her about Tyler. They didn’t know anything about him—he might be just as bad as Hilton. She shouldn’t be letting him into her house, into her life. She needed to be more careful.
She pressed her face into the pillow on her bed and sobbed. She didn’t know what to do. She was a trusting person, always letting people into her life with an open heart. But maybe she’d been doing it all wrong. Her father was right — she should be more careful. Look what’d happened with her last boyfriend. She’d been convinced that he was a good man, and she couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was Saturday, and she’d stayed in bed all morning watching TV. The kitten had disappeared about an hour ago. Before that, Moon had lain on top of the covers with her, all stretched out and her little eyes shut. Every now and then she’d flex a paw, letting her claws glint in the morning sun.
But when Jessica called her parents, the cat jumped down from the bed and padded from the room. Jessica got up and pulled on her bathrobe, cinching it around her waist, then headed downstairs to the kitchen to see if she could find her kitten.
Moon was crouched beside her food bowl, eating.
“Good girl,” Jessica said, squatting to pet the cat’s soft head. “You could hear the yelling, huh? It was a bit much for me too.”
With a sigh, she washed up for breakfast, then poured herself a bowl of instant oatmeal and heated it up in the microwave. While she waited, she leaned against the counter and patted the tears on her cheeks dry with a tissue. What should she do? Was she really ready to dive into another relationship? Tyler seemed to want to get serious. He was talking about next Christmas together. He was calling her everyday now and wanted to see her several times a week. And she’d thought it was great — she really liked him. He was warm, fun, kind…all the things she was looking for in a man. He wasn’t her usual type — she’d gone for bookish, nerdy guys in the past. But he was athletic, muscular, and not particularly interested in discussing the latest book club pick. Did it matter? They were opposites in so many ways. Would that tear them apart, or bring them together? She didn’t know.
But what if he wasn’t who she thought he was? What if her judgment had let her down again? They were moving too fast. She didn’t know him well enough. She should pull back, give herself some time to recover from the Hilton mess. And who knew—maybe she’d even have to move again if Hilton was released from prison without being sentenced, as her dad seemed to think was possible. Would she have to change her name this time? The whole idea was overwhelming. She’d have to cut ties with Tyler then anyway, so maybe she should just do it now, to be safe.
After she’d showered and dressed, she heard a knock at the door. Her heart rate accelerated. It was Tyler. They’d planned on spending the day together, and she’d have to talk to him about how she was feeling. She didn’t want to—she would much prefer to avoid any difficult conversation.
