“Me, doing my PhD. You living and working here. We’re going to live at the farmhouse, and then what? I’ll commute to Athens everyday? That’s a long drive. And I really should be there, to talk to my supervisor, to access the library. It’s going to be an adjustment, that’s all.”
He arched an eyebrow. “True, I hadn’t really thought that through I suppose. I figured you’d move in here with me and commute. It’s only an hour. Most people do more than that to get to work in the city.”
“You’re right, it’s not so bad. But it’ll wear me out. And as I said, I’m used to having all the resources of the university at my fingertips. I’m not sure how it’s going to work. Is it even possible for me to graduate while trying to do all of that? And what if you decide to get a job somewhere else? Then what?”
He laughed. “If that happens, we’ll talk about it. Okay? When we’re married, I’m not going to make decisions without you. We’ll make them together.”
“Okay, that makes sense.”
“And if you want to stay on campus sometimes, we can keep renting your room. You can go back and forth whenever you like. It’s up to you. I’ll support whatever you decide to do.”
They chatted a few more minutes, then she gave him one last, lingering kiss and ran upstairs. Talking through her concerns had made her wonder why she’d even been worried about any of it in the first place. It was fine, they’d work it out. If it was all too hard, they’d do something different — he’d assured her they could manage it and she believed him. A wide smile crept across her lips as she burst into the room. Her bridesmaids startled at the sight of her.
“Where have you been?” Matilda asked, wide-eyed.
“Talkin’ to James.”
“You’re not supposed to see the groom on your wedding day,” Sophie admonished her. “It’s bad luck.”
Julie waved her off as she walked over to where her wedding dress hung against the wall. “Never mind about that. Everything’s fine now. And it’s time for me to get dressed.”
Julie Brown was marrying Dr. James Fuller, and Rita couldn’t have been prouder of her beautiful niece. She only wished her sister, Helen, could’ve been there to see Julie get married, and that her father, Paul, could’ve walked her down the aisle. There were ghosts at every corner. Rita kept imagining that she saw them in the crowd as she climbed out of her vehicle and wandered into the church to find her seat.
She sat on the front row reserved for the bride’s family and smoothed the skirt of her floral dress. She’d lost so much weight over the past year that she almost didn’t recognise herself. It felt good to be lighter on her feet, but the chemotherapy had slowed her down. At least she was in remission now, something she hadn’t been sure was possible while she was going through it. She’d tried to stay positive, but these things don’t always work out the way people hoped, and she wanted to be prepared for the worst.
There was a shout of laughter behind her, and she spun in the church pew to see her cousin, Cathy Lambert, a few rows back, deep in conversation with other members of their family. She wore a bright blue silk dress with a pink floral headband and chunky pink costume jewellery. Ever the spectacle. A few years ago, the sight would’ve made Rita grimace to herself, but now that their friendship had developed and grown with Cathy spending more and more time at the café, she only smiled and raised a hand in greeting. Cathy responded in kind.
Before long, the church was full. Rita was joined in the front pew by Ryan and a few other members of the family. Matilda and Sophie soon walked in, to stand up front and wait for the bride. Rita reached out to squeezed Matilda’s hand. The thought popped unbidden into her head — this could’ve been you. She loved Julie, who had been her niece for over two decades now. But if there hadn’t been a mix up at the IVF clinic, Matilda would’ve been the one who grew up close by. She would’ve been raised by Helen and babysat by Rita, and they would’ve had the closeness that Rita and Julie now shared. It was a complicated situation and Rita had done the best she could to make the most of it, to make everyone involved feel loved and accepted. But sometimes thinking about it made her head hurt and her heart ache just a little.
The piano music began, and everyone stood to watch as Julie walked down the aisle with her hand on Tyler’s arm. He looked a little uncomfortable in the rented suit, with his hair—a little longer now than it had been when he arrived home—slicked to one side. There was a tuft poking up in the back, stubbornly refusing to be obedient. But he looked so handsome that it made Rita’s throat tighten as she watched the two of them. They’d played together as children, had fought like brother and sister, and now Tyler was guiding her down the aisle to get married.
Tears filled her eyes, and she dabbed them away with a handkerchief as James took Julie’s hand and Tyler hurried to sit between Rita and Ryan. Rita patted his arm. He nodded and cleared his throat. Then the pastor began the service.
It was a lovely wedding. Rita couldn’t for the life of her recall a word the pastor said, but she remembered that it was beautiful. Most of the time, her mind was flying over memories, her imagination full of pictures of Julie as a baby, then a toddler with chubby little legs running into Helen’s arms. She saw Julie’s face across the gravesite of first her father and then her mother, her cheeks wet with tears, her stare vacant. And then the return of life to her eyes as she graduated from high school and went off to college. She’d borne so much pain so far, Rita prayed with clenched fists that the seasons would shift and Julie would have only joy from now on.
Tyler linked his arm through Rita’s, and it dawned on her that she’d sobbed loudly enough for him to hear. She inhaled a slow breath, then cheered as the pastor announced they were husband and wife. James bent to kiss Julie, sweeping her backwards as Julie wound her arms around his neck. Her full white skirt swished around her legs as she moved to greet the cheering onlookers one by one down the short aisle of the small wooden chapel.
Her eyes found Rita and crinkled around the edges. Then she rushed to embrace her aunt with a wide grin.
“I’m married!” she whispered into Rita’s ear.
Rita couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “Congratulations, honey. I’m so proud of you. And I’m praying day and night that you’re gonna have the best, most blessed marriage in the world.”
“Thanks, Aunt Rita. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I couldn’t have made it without you.” Julie kissed her aunt’s cheek and moved on.
Rita watched her go, hands clenched together around her handkerchief, a smile lighting up her face as the tears continued to fall.
“That is not how you dance, Rita,” Cathy admonished her, hands pressed to her hips.
Then she jigged back and forth, one foot in front of the other, hands lifted heavenward along with her nose.
Rita held back laughter. She pressed her lips together, then smiled. “Thanks, honey. But I think I’m doin’ just fine. I’ve been dancing since before you were a whippersnapper. “
“We’re the same age!” Cathy huffed as she momentarily stopped moving to the music.
“I’m three years older than you, and you know it,” Rita replied as she began to dance.
She moved more slowly than Cathy, but then, she’d always done that.
