“Oh, no, they didn’t. That was my first experience. The next time I went on a date, he said we should meet at a Mexican restaurant. That seemed like a better plan than the previous date, so I agreed. When I arrived, he had also forgotten his wallet.”
“There’s an epidemic of lost wallets…” Rita grunted. She didn’t mean to make fun, but really, Cathy’s stories were so ridiculous, it was hard not to.
“Who could have predicted it?” Cathy rolled her eyes. “So, then he asked if we could order the food to go. I was feeling a little beat down at this point, so I said, ‘that’s fine.’ The other reason I was okay with ordering to go was that he was young. And when I say ‘young,’ I mean, much younger than I would ever date. I honestly wondered if he was a college student, but I tried not to think about it too much. All I wanted to do was order my burrito, give my apologies, and head home alone.”
Rita thought she might burst from holding in her laughter. There were tears in her eyes and she pressed her lips together hard.
“Thanks for your compassion, by the way.” Cathy huffed. “Anyhow, we were placing our orders, and he asked for one hundred hard-shelled tacos.”
“He what?” Rita’s eyes widened in surprise.
“That’s right… one hundred of those suckers.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. So, at that point, I said I didn’t need the burrito I’d ordered. And I had to pay for one hundred hard-shell beef tacos.”
“How do you even carry all of that?”
“In bags. They bring it out in bags. So, he grabbed the bags and headed out to his car. He asked if I wanted to come. Can you believe that? We’re supposed to be on a date, and he’s asking if I want to come with him.”
“How polite. He was a well-mannered young thief, then?”
Cathy grunted. “So, I said, ‘No, thank you. I’m going home.” I grabbed a taco from the bag, turned on my heel, and stalked to my car. He called out after me, ‘My roommates are gonna love these. Thanks, ma’am!’”
“Bless your little old heart.” Rita guffawed loudly at that—she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Cathy laughed along with her until the two of them were crying tears that rolled down their cheeks.
“At least you fed some starving college boys. That’s a good deed right there.”
Cathy shook her head. “This is dating? I’m not sure I’m cut out for it. In fact, I’m certain I’m not.”
“Are you gonna give up?”
“No, not yet. Surely there’s someone out there who’ll give me a chance. Someone closer to my age who actually owns a wallet and a vehicle.”
“I have no doubt there’s a wonderful and handsome man who’s just waiting to meet his future wife. But you may have to kiss a lot of frogs…”
“Ugh, there’ll be no kissing. Not when I can’t even get through the appetiser without them giving themselves away.”
Rita arched an eyebrow. “At least you’re weeding them out quickly. That’s something, I guess. But it makes me so glad I’m not on ‘the apps,’ as you call them.”
“You’ve got to play the game to win,” Cathy said as she finished the last bite of pie.
“That’s very true. And honestly, I’m kind of in awe that you’re doing it. You’re much braver than I am.”
The café door swung open and the little bell above the door tinkled, grabbing Rita’s attention. It was Tyler and Brian. They were speaking animatedly with one another as they walked in, then looked around and spotted Rita and Cathy. They both approached bearing broad smiles.
Tyler bent to kiss Rita’s cheek. “Hey, Mom. Hi, Auntie Cathy. You finished lunch already?”
“It’s late. I thought you’d be here an hour ago,” Rita replied.
“Hello, Tyler. It’s so nice to see you back home again. I know your mom is glad.”
“Thanks, Cathy. Can we sit here, Mom?”
Rita pulled two additional chairs to her table. “Yes, sit, sit… I’ll get you some chicken pot pie. It’s a new menu item, and it’s divine.”
She returned to the kitchen with Cathy as they each cleared dishes, and Cathy leaned toward her to whisper, “Who is that with Tyler?”
