“Not really. You like to throw that in my face, as though not having a husband or kids means I don’t have responsibilities. I have two businesses to run — and I’m making a living selling books and developing photographs. Do you know how hard that is?”
Emily raised her chin. “It doesn’t sound difficult to me. More like fun.”
“It’s fun but sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent. And I don’t have anyone to help me. No one to turn to when I’m running short of money. I have to do it all on my own. I know it’s not the same as raising a family, but it has its challenges as well, and you never acknowledge that.”
“You misunderstand me. I try so hard to get through to you, but all you can think about is yourself. You have no idea what I’ve been dealing with, and when I try to talk to you about it, you bring up your own hardships. You live in paradise, you get to do fun things with your friends all the time, you have a business of your own, and all you can do is complain.” Tears pooled in her eyes and she spun on her heel to storm back into the house, slamming the door behind her.
Evie blinked, then set down her coffee cup on the small side table next to her rocking chair. She hadn’t expected Emily to react that way, although her sister was often more dramatic than necessary. Still, was she right? Was Evie insensitive? She hadn’t intended to be. But from her perspective, it seemed as though Emily always complained and never appreciated the difficulties in Evie’s life. Perhaps they both felt that way — what was it about twins that they were always in competition with one another? It’d been like that for as long as she could remember. They’d been the best of friends up until high school, when competing for boys caused the first major rift between them. Although Emily had competed for their parents’ love long before that.
With a sigh, she shuffled back into the kitchen. She needed to get out of the house. Perhaps she should go for a walk. She had taken the day off from work so she could spend time with Emily, and all she wanted to do was to get away from her.
Removing her straw hat from the peg by the front door, she stalked outside and down the footpath to the beach. When Emily was around, Evie felt as though the worst side of herself rose to the surface. With her friends — Taya, Bea, and Penny — she was happy, lighthearted, cheerful and easy-going. With Emily, she was selfish, snappy and insensitive. What was it about her sister that drew those qualities out from the darkest depths of her personality?
The mobile phone in the pocket of her denim overalls rang. She pulled it out and was relieved to see Taya’s name on the screen. She missed her friend so much when she travelled, and she’d left on the ferry that morning for a trip to Vanuatu.
“Taya, it’s so lovely to hear from you. Everything okay?”
The sound of wind buffeting the microphone almost deafened Evie, and she pulled the phone away from her ear with a grimace. Then she put it on speaker.
“I’m fine. Calling to see how you’re going. We didn’t get a chance to talk last night. I’m on the ferry. Sorry, the wind is horrendous.”
“Thanks for coming to book club, even though you were leaving so early this morning. It was good to see you.”
“I loved it,” Taya replied. “I didn’t want to miss out on one of my favourite events with my favourite people just because of work. You did a great job with everything, by the way. But let’s get down to the juicy stuff — why is your sister in town, and why didn’t you tell me she was coming?”
Seagulls hovered overhead as Evie made her way along the beach, her sandals in one hand, the phone in the other. The sand was warm against her skin, and she dug her toes into its golden softness, leaning forward to stride through the the cove.
“I don’t know exactly. We tried to talk about it a little bit — I think she’s having some marriage difficulties.”
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry to hear that. Although I’m tempted to say something about karma, I won’t. I’ll keep that to myself.”
Evie laughed. “Don’t go down that path. That’s old news — we love Emily, remember? We want her marriage to work.”
“I know. I’m trying to be supportive,” Taya said. “My loyalty is to you, always.”
“And I appreciate that. I truly do want only good things for her, yet for some reason, I can’t seem to say that to her face and instead end up offending her and making her angry.”
“I’m sure you were kind. You’re always kind.”
Evie shook her head even though Taya couldn’t see. It wasn’t true — when it came to Emily, she could be unkind. She never intended it, but there were things between them, things that’d happened in the past, that had built up resentment on both sides. Evie had tried to put it all behind her and move on, but some hurts were difficult to bury — they kept springing out of the sand all decayed and rotten and stinking up the place.
“I wasn’t particularly kind, although I think she’s a little too sensitive. But perhaps I should listen more and focus less on my own feelings. Do you think I’m selfish?”
“Definitely not selfish. You don’t think of yourself often enough, in my opinion.”
Taya was Evie’s most loyal friend, but perhaps not completely objective in this instance. “When it comes to Emily, I mean. Am I selfish with my sister?”
Taya hesitated. “No, I don’t think so.”
“You paused. That means yes.”
“No, it doesn’t. I was considering your words, nothing more than that.”
Evie slumped into the sand and rested her elbows against her bended knees to stare out across the ocean. “It’s true, though. I’m selfish when I’m around my sister. She brings that out in me. I think it’s because she’s so ready to take, take, take that I feel as though I have to grab some things for myself before I miss out entirely.”
“Those feelings are entirely justified, by the way. Given your history together.”
“I suppose, but it all happened so long ago. She’s been married for decades. They have two sons. What do I have?”
