Achi brings the two dresses to the counter, and I stick close by to make sure she includesmypick. Pa trails us and tries his best to spin this whole shopping ordeal into a great sister bonding moment.
“How was your shopping experience today?” the cashier asks as she scans the items.
“Stressful,” I mutter.
Achi ignores me and takes out her credit card.
“Ah, Ms. Ilagan!” The cashier beams when she reads Achi’s details. “Great to see you again. The dresses that you had altered are also ready for pickup.”
When did Achi get dresses altered?
Wait… Has my sister been shopping for Ma without me?!
She can’t even look me in the eye when she tells the cashier that she’ll pick them up another time.
I tell the cashier to hold the purchase and hurry over to the women’s section again. “Nika,” Achi hisses when I go through the gown selection. “I’m not buying more than two dresses.”
“If you’re giving Ma more options, I should get more options too.”
Each dress I remove from the rack, my sister grabs and puts right back. I clear a whole section out of spite, and my sister barks at me to stop causing a scene. “Those dresses aren’t for Ma,” she snaps. “They’re for you and me.”
Achi has never shopped for me. I mean, clearly, our tastesare very different, and my sister never shops unless it’s for necessity, like a school thing or fancy occasion…
I hold my breath when it registers. “These are for the wedding, aren’t they?”
She can’t even give me an answer.
When she’s busy returning the dresses I took out, I get straight to the point. “You’re still planning the wedding?”
I swear my sister was paying attention to me. After I repeatedly detailed how re-creating past memories has been making Pa more “human,” she told me she’d go along with the plan. It’s common sense that re-creating our parents’ love story means forgetting about Ma’s other wedding.
Her eyes flit from me to Pa. “I’m just not sure—”
“What?” I ask, stunned. “Aren’t you happy that Pa is back?”
“Of course I am!” Her hands tense from how tight she’s gripping one of the clothing hangers. “But you said his fortieth day is this weekend, right? What happens after that?” Her lip slightly trembles and she looks away from him.
Her voice breaks when she says, “Losing Pa was hard enough the first time.”
“Jackie…” Pa tries reaching out to Achi, but she brushes him offagain.
“So what’s your plan?” I lash out at my sister. “You’re going to cheer Ma on when she gets married to Dr. Derrick?”
“You’re too young to understand, but there are a lot of things that go on in a relationship—”
“I know that!” I cut Achi off, annoyed that she’s again talking to me like I’m clueless. “And Pa has been telling me all about their relationship. I’m sure Ma still loves him.”
Achi scrubs her hand over her face. “I’m talking about Ma and Uncle Derrick, Niks.”
My palms start to sting from how hard my nails are digginginto my skin. I almost hear something snap in my brain the longer I have to stand here and listen to my sister talk about how “good” Dr. Derrick is for Ma.
“He really gets what Ma’s going through and knows how to help her…”
Ican’t. If I keep listening to this, I swear I’m going to hurl one of the mannequins out the window. Achi keeps calling my name while I stomp off to the fitting rooms. My body couldn’t physically take hearing another word from her about “Uncle” Derrick. Like, did Dr. Derrick hypnotize Achi during her last dentist appointment or something?! She always uses that “too young” line—discrediting my opinions just because I’m the youngest, but I’m our parents’ daughter too.
From the space under the dressing room curtain, I spy the shoes of different people walking back and forth.
Then the image of watching Pa’s shoes pops back in my memory. It was during that last year we had with Pa. I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard Pa and Achi arguing outside our bedroom. I inched closer, watching their shadows under the door. When Achi came back inside, she turned on the music in her speakers, drowning out any noise that happened outside our bedroom.
