“Does your body still not sleep?” I ask him.
Pa shakes his head.
“Don’t you get tired?”
He smiles my concern away. “I kind of like it,” Pa says. “It gives me more time to look over things.
“Like… this photo.”
Pa shows me the horrendous family Christmas photo where I have a triple chin from how hard I’m scowling.
He clutches it tighter when I try snatching it away from him. “I thought I destroyed all copies of that.”
“But it’s my favorite photo of you. It really shows off my beautiful daughter’s eyes.” Pa holds up the picture right next to my face. I scowl even harder.
“When I greeted you Merry Christmas that year, you stomped off and said it’s notmerry, Pa.”
“Because you made me perform with your coworker’s son.”
“But you loved performing.”
“He was a DJ, Pa.”
Pa’s partner in his warehouse business had an aspiring DJ son who now goes by the name DJ Tofu. Many Christmases ago, Pa suggested we do a song number together at our annual family Christmas party. DJ Tofu turned down my microphone because my voice was getting in the way of his “beats.”
“Heard he’s in the lineup for some summer festival next year.”
Of course, I got this information from Auntie Baby.
“Really?” Pa asks. “You should check him out.”
“Or maybewecould…”
I’m trying to gauge if he can see himself sticking around for that long, but Pa doesn’t pick up on the hint. He’s already gone back to looking at more photos.
“Remember this?”
Pa shows me a drawing of a coupon with the wordsValid for 1 giftscribbled on it. “You gave me this when you were nine, I think.”
I nod, remembering. “I felt bad when you and Ma gave me a Christmas gift and I didn’t have anything for you.”
“I can think of a perfect gift you can give me this year.”
Pa then points his lips at the magic mic that Auntie Baby left behind.
“I’m still recovering from my performance with DJ Tofu.”
He raises his finger. “One song?” he asks. “I miss singing with my superstar.”
Once Pa switches on the mics, “Christmas in Our Hearts” by Jose Mari Chan is already lined up in the queue. The machine flashes different shades of red and green when the opening melody plays. He offers me the other mic attached to the side and I hesitate.
I was already sobbing by the end of our Battle of the Bands performance. Getting to sing again with Pa during Christmas in our living room… am I ready for that?
“Whenever I see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street…” Pa croons along to the classic Jose Mari Chan song.
He smiles when I move to pick up the second mic he left on the couch cushion. I wait until the pre-chorus before I start singing the lyrics that I know by heart. This used to be our family’s favorite one to perform—I swear, I even caught Achi singing along once. I remember Pa and I would still be singingthis song all the way until March, even when all the Christmas lights were taken down.
My voice cracks when I hit the high note at the ending chorus and I laugh when Pa copies the note, messing up too. God. I’ve missed singing.
