What if this isn’t a ghost? What if you’re hallucinating?
Didn’t your ninth-grade assessment say you have an overactive imagination?!Lots of renowned geniuses suffer from hallucinations: Vincent van Gogh, Isaac Newton, even Olivia Rodrigo thinks everyone in her party has her face in one music video. Maybe I’m not seeing a ghost, maybe I’m just exceptionally intelligent!
When you open your eyes, you will be fine.He will be…
Standing in front of me.
“I can’t believe I’m back,” the hallucination’s voice chokes out as he marvels at his hands like he’s just now noticing that they’re the color of the baby powder on the sink. The hallucination lights up even more when he flexes his fingers and stretches his legs. My heart then freezes when the hallucination faces me again. “Sorry nabigla ‘ata kita. Been a long time and it took me a while to recognize my bunso.” I momentarilyforget the striking Pa resemblance and notice that his feet aren’t touching the floor. Does Olivia Rodrigo also see levitating dead people?!
He floats closer and I hurl myself into the shower, pulling the curtain closed. I crank on the faucet and let the water soak through my pajamas. “This is a dream, this is a dream,” I mutter to myself while turning the knob to the coldest setting.
But I’m wide awake and I still hear his voice.
“Nika, are you okay?”
There are about a million layers to that question.
“I know this might be a lot to process, but everything’s going to be fine,” the hallucination assures me while I’m still praying for the shower to wake me up. This happens in horror movies, too, right? Demonic evil spirits pose as your loved ones so they can trick you into trusting them! I’m racking my brain for any superstition about driving ghosts away. Didn’t Ma once say that holy water purifies a space? My hand goes through all the bottles and containers lined up on the shower rack. Great. We have two tubes of anti-dandruff shampoo but no holy water. If I get possessed by a demonic spirit, at least I’ll be dandruff-free. “Hello?” I hear the demon’s voice again.
I’m not going to answer. I may be delusional enough to see dead people, but I haven’t gone so far as totalk todead people. I’ll let my sanity have that.
After more unanswered questions, I start hoping that the hallucination has disappeared and left me alone. But then I see a chalk-white hand poke through the shower curtain—and based on my extensive science education, NORMAL HANDS SHOULDN’T GO THROUGH SOLID THINGS!!!
“Ahhh!” we both yelp, and someone barges through the doorway.
“Niks!” Achi pushes the shower curtain so fast that it rips. “What happened?”
She gapes as I’m sprawled in the bathtub, her expression screaming the same lines ofThere is something seriously wrong with my sister.
My eyes immediately land on the hallucination beside her… that Achi doesn’t pay attention to.
Or is it because I’m the only one who sees Pa?
Wait, no.That is not your father! It’s a hallucination!
He/she/they/it (I don’t know what pronouns hallucinations use!) looks at me, then turns to my sister. “Jackie?” The hallucination tries talking to Achi, but she never turns his/her/their/its way.
“I, uh…” I try to steady my voice while blinking away the water still hitting my eyes. “I forgot to take off my clothes before going in the shower.”
“You… forgot?” Achi asks, rightfully bewildered.
“Yeah, so I got surprised when I turned on the water and I wasn’t naked,” I casually explain while grabbing the towel. No matter how much I wipe my eyes, the hallucination is still there, peering at me.
I drown out the hallucination’s voice in the background that still sounds eerily like Pa’s.
“You know, I never realized how big this bathroom is.” I stretch and move my arms so I’m gesturing in the hallucination’s direction. “Did you ever realize that we can fitthreepeople in this bathroom? Wouldn’t that be cool if we hadthreepeople here right now?”
Achi pauses and frowns. “Why would you need to fit three people in one bathroom?”
Oh god. She really doesn’t see the Pa clone literally hovering in the bathroom. Maybe it’s for the best. Better to havea family with one lone delusional person versus a family with two.
“Nika? Jackie?” We suddenly hear Ma’s voice.
Achi stops me when I reach for the door. “Don’t let Ma see you like that.”
I wriggle out of her grip and rush out of there. Maybe my hallucinations are location-specific. It’s like when my phone malfunctions whenever I leave Manila. Leaving the bathroom might be like a factory reset that will revert my mind to normal functioning.
“Why are you all wet?” Ma says when she sees me walk out in my soaked pajamas.
