“Does that mean yes or no?”
“It means I think so,” I repeat.
“So you’re not failing anything?”
“You never ask Achi these questions.”
“I used to ask her about school too,” Ma points out.
“No, you would ask her about what honor she got or what awards they were giving her.”
“Your sister gets lots of awards. Why wouldn’t I ask about them?”
I sigh and drop it. Maybe Ma doesn’t do it on purpose, butI’m not sure if it’s sadder her subconscious already expects the worst of me.
That’s when all hell breaks loose.
“You skipped chemistry period?”
“Mmm?” I respond, my mouth still busy chewing.
“I got an email from school about your attendance.”
Her chopsticks drop to the bowl when she scrolls through her phone. “Annika, you’ve missed nine classes this quarter?!”
I think about making a chemistry-related pun that the subject isn’t really in myelement… but something tells me Ma isn’t in the mood.
“How do you expect to graduate if you miss that much school?” Ma demands. “During your sister’s graduation, she had to go onstage five times to accept all her awards. Don’t you want that too?”
“Not a big fan of stairs.”
I can practically see the smoke steaming above Ma’s face. Yeah, not a great time for jokes.
She pinches the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath. “I know you’ve been having a hard time adjusting to the situation…”
By situation, she means her getting engaged to my dentist.
“And I’ve tried to be more patient with you. I tried letting how you acted at the ting hun go, but this can’t go on forever.” She clasps her hands together. “I want you to get back on track. Apply yourself in school, graduate, and get to college.
“Niks, we need to move on.”
My body stiffens at Ma’s words.
“I’m not going to graduation.”
“It’s still early in the school year. Of course, you can still graduate. I’m going to talk to your teachers. You know what, I’m going to have Jackie talk to them—”
“No,Idon’t want to.”
Ma pulls back at this. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times, like she has no idea where to start.
“I don’t feel like going,” I explain, filling the silence. “Lots of successful people don’t finish high school and I already saw Achi do it—”
“You don’tfeellike going?” Ma repeats, her voice growing louder. “Nika, you know how many things I do every day that I don’tfeellike doing? Do you think Ifeellike waking up at five in the morning or staying in the bakery until midnight? Do you think Ifeellike constantly worrying about how I’m going to pay your tuition and then find out that you don’t even go to class?”
My eyes stay firmly on the table when I feel the hard lump in my throat.
“I don’t, okay? But I still show up even when I don’t feel like it,” she says. “You wonder why I don’t trust you to be responsible yet? This is why.”
