‘Man thought this was a chocolate finger kind of day,’ says Krunal, disturbing my doom-scrolling by dropping a purple box on the table. ‘I smuggled it in my case.’ He winks and sits down beside me. Warmth sparks in my chest, but it doesn’t amount to anything. It snuffs itself out, much like my career.
Brian makes an ultra-processed food comment but I’m too exhausted to tune in.
What a day. I haven’t done a lot, to be honest. Just lied to everyone I know and even more I don’t, feeling like chewing gum on the bottom of Brian’s shoe.
After the Zoom call with HQ where I got yelled at but not fired, it was agreed that today’s interviews would go to Krunal and I’d quietly get on with research tasks for the foreseeable. But now it’s after hours, almost everyone else has gone home, andGreg’s making us wait for an impromptu team meeting. At least he didn’t call it a ‘chat’. I’m not sure how many more of those I can handle.
‘That was London again,’ he says, rejoining us in the empty media centre café. ‘Martinelli don’t want to associate with Channel 3 either until further notice.’
My heart plummets to new lows. The table groans.
‘Christophe’s such a cock,’ Krunal mutters.
First Pagari, now Martinelli. Who’s next? Ackland? Maxim?DFK?Will it snowball across the entire grid? I’m in the middle of apologising for the hundred and seventy-eighth time today when Krunal nudges my arm with the box of fingers.
‘I don’t understand why this is such a big palaver,’ starts Brian, because we’re all dying to hear what he thinks. ‘In the eighties and nineties, there were giant orgiesfullof journalists.’
Now I’m picturing Brian at an orgy.
‘Anyone remember Stilton and Annette Herring?’ Krunal offers. ‘She started as press.’
If I wasn’t writhing in self-hatred, I’d be bowled over by Krunal’s knowledge of F1 history. I was so wrong about him.
Brian nods in recognition. ‘She makes a sublime lemon tart.’
‘Hans and Carrie-Ann Glock? She was an F1 photographer.’
‘Excellent jugs.’
‘Let’s stay on track and plan the weekend,’ says Greg, looking like he’s been awake for years. My bottom lip wobbles and I clamp my teeth together. ‘We can’t approach anyone from Pagari or Martinelli so the focus is Ackland, and everyone’s saying Volare might do well so let’s watch them closely too.’ We all agree. ‘When discussing the constructors, let’s be mindful of how we talk about Pagari. We can’t be too positive about Jack, and we can’t be negativeat allabout Micah. I’ll explain in a minute.
‘We want it to be as minimally obvious as possible. Talk about Pagari or Martinelli as much as you like, we’ll just “narrowly miss them” in the paddock. Hopefully by Baku, it’ll be business as usual.’ He doesn’t look like he believes it, and neither do I.
‘Key things to note,’ Greg continues, ‘in the pre-quali segment on Saturday, Minnie, it’s probably best if you don’t talk about Pagari. Leave that to these guys.’ That’s fair. ‘On Sunday, Brian, you’re doing the grid walk by yourself.’
Brianharrumphs. I don’t know why. When we do it together, I don’t get a word in.
‘Remember: no Pagari or Martinelli,’ Greg reiterates, eyeing us all in turn like naughty schoolchildren.
‘What are theseludicrousrestrictions?’ Brian exclaims. Oh so now he cares – when it affects him. That was shitty of me. This whole thing’s my fault. ‘How are we supposed to compete with Sky if we can’t approach the top two constructors? I won’t do it.’
I sink down in my chair.
‘Don’t try; they won’t talk to you.Especiallydon’t go near Micah.’ Greg blows out a pained breath. ‘His team are threatening to take us to court over alleged bias and defamation in the Silverstone interview.’
I can feel myself getting paler and paler. How was I remotely biased? I couldn’t ask himanythingbecause of said team’s restrictions. I didn’t bring up Jack once!
Greg fiddles with his phone on the table. ‘Our lawyers are analysing the footage.’
Lawyers? Court?How is thishappening?
‘In the meantime, the clips have been taken off our social platforms,’ Greg goes on. ‘The comments were getting… a lot.’
I cover my face with my hands and Krunal prods them with the box of fingers. I take one and nibble on it as Brian ventsabout why people shouldn’t have free speech. At least Krunal looks placated.
‘Let’s focus on tomorrow, innit,’ Krunal says brightly. ‘Anything else we should be mindful of, big man?’
‘That’s everything,’ Greg says, picking sleepy dust out his eye. ‘Cheers guys.’
