He glances at me and it’s my turn to start. His gaze feels like a red-hot poker prodding my chest.
‘…stiff aerodynamic set-up,’ Brian’s saying. ‘The car’s not built for tracks like Monaco or Singapore.’
My dad’s lips curve downwards in polite disagreement. ‘It’s not got the grip of Pagari and Martinelli around here, but?—’
He has changed a little. His five o’clock shadow looks muddied. The crow’s feet around his eyes are deeper. Good. I want him to have suffered like we did. For his life to have a giant hole in it like mine does.
His eyes drift to me again, eliciting the same reaction. I wish he’d stop doing that, it’s deeply unsettling. What’s he thinking? Is he confused to see me here? He doesn’t look confused, but then he always was excellent on camera. Do I remind him of all the mistakes he made? Do I make him grateful for his new life?
‘What do you think, Minnie?’ My name spoken from the man who raised me now feels so formal and alien.
I didn’t listen to a single word, and I don’t think an ambiguous ‘uh huh’ will cut it. My brain’s sputtering, somewhere between wanting to hide where no one can find me, and overdosing on hydrogenated fats.
‘Unfortunately, we’re out of time,’ Krunal cuts in smoothly. I could get on my knees and kiss his box-fresh Air Forces. ‘It’s time for Brian to head up to the comms box ready for qualifying.’ He turns to the camera. ‘We’ll see you on the other side of the break.’
The second we cut, I distantly register a hand reaching towards me but I’m already gone. He calls after me, but I couldn’t stop my legs even if I wanted to. My entire body’s repelled by him. It’s pushing me as far away as humanly possible.
What did he think was going to happen? What didIthink was going to happen? What could possibly be said in front of everyone I work with, in the middle of theMonaco paddock?
I just saw my dad.Holy fucking shit.I don’t know how to process this so I don’t bother, and concentrate on zigzagging through me-sized gaps in the crowd. My mind and body are ringing every alarm bell but I try and breathe through it. Focus on one step at a time. Then another. Then another. Soon I’ll be safe.
My stomach twists and I realise I’m out of time. I can’t hold it in any longer. I drop to the decking and vomit into the sea.
Chapter 21
JACK
It’s probably been the longest day of Minnie’s life. I don’t know if she’s in the mood for company, but it feels like a dick move to see her walking across the car park as I’m getting in my Fiat and not check in. Even after puking, crying, and continuing heroically with a whole day of work (the paddock grapevine’s unstoppable), shestillmanages to look fire.
What the hell’s wrong with me? What kind of weird perv checks her out after the day she’s had?
I pull up beside her. ‘Today sucked, huh?’
She flinches a little when she sees it’s me – and what I’m driving. ‘I look that bad?’
Notat all.‘I saw him about thirty seconds after I saw you.’
She forces a smile. It looks hard won. ‘Today didn’t suck for you.’
‘We’re not talking about me.’
‘Could we please, though?’ she whispers, and it chips off something inside me.
I rub my eye wearily. ‘Get in, Roberts.’
‘Someone’s fallen on hard times,’ she remarks, not moving but sounding perkier. I’ll take it. ‘An 8C to a Fiat 500.’
‘Funny,’ I deadpan. ‘This is my stealthy car.’
‘Kinky.’
You don’t know the meaning of kinky. ‘It’s the car I drive when I want to be inconspicuous.’
‘Smart decision bringing it to the track.No onewould think of looking for you here.’
I itch to smile. ‘Just get in, will you?’
‘Fine.’ She places her handbag on the backseat and straps in the passenger side. ‘Where are you taking me, oh master of stealth?’
