‘Manual or automatic?’
‘Manual, obviously.’
‘Full English or avocado on toast?’
I scrunch my face up. ‘Who in the world would choose avocado on toast?’
A pause. ‘Some people.’
‘Would you?’
‘Sometimes.’
‘You don’t deserve to be British.’
‘At leastIlive in Britain. Where do you live, Jack?’
‘No, no, no, this isn’t about living situations, this is about identity. I bet you don’t even like Yorkshire Pudding.’
‘I…’ she trails off. ‘I’m supposed to be interviewing you!’
‘Knew it.’
‘Toy StoryorMonsters Inc?’
I regard her blandly. ‘I just know you’d chooseMonsters Inc.’
‘I don’t like either but that doesn’t matter because it’s not about me.’
I lean forward. ‘How can you not likeToy Story?’
‘It’s boring.’
‘Boring? What, like my driving?’
‘I never said that!’ she squeaks.
‘Why wouldn’t you want your toys to come alive?’
‘It’s sad. Jessie’s storyline was heartbreaking. I don’t need that kind of pain from a kids’ movie.’
‘But she got her happy ending,’ I argue.
‘I don’t care,The IncrediblesbeatsToy Storyevery time.’
‘I’m sorry, are there fourIncrediblesmovies? And a spin-off with Chris Evans?’
She clenches her jaw. ‘DoesToy Storyhave Edna, the single greatest character ever written?’
‘Does—’
‘Thank you so much for taking the time to speak to me, Jack. It’s so appreciated.’ She’s rounding off the interview. ‘Even if you do have terrible taste in films.’
I throw my head back with a, ‘Hah!’
I see what she’s done. Media Jack with his diplomatic answers and team-first spirit has been shaved thin. She’s trying to pull out the ‘real’ me, and she did a decent job.
‘Good luck out there tomorrow. I can’t wait to watch,’ she says sweetly like she’s not a manipulative mastermind.
