“I can’t give you that number.You ruined her trust, and in all honesty, she didn’t want to give it to me,” Smokey said.“You’re going to have to do this the old way.”
“The old way?”
“Showing up.You want my advice, take every piece of rejection.If you want to be in Larissa’s life, if you want to win her back for the long haul, then don’t give up.Do not back down, even when it feels like there is no fucking point.Just keep going.”
Big Dick didn’t feel invigorated.He felt fucking deflated.This was not good.He couldn’t just call Larissa and talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” Big Dick said, and stepped out of the office.Smokey was going to beat the shit out of him later.
He stepped out of the clubhouse and went to his bike, straddling the machine.He turned the ignition over and felt his baby purr to life.It was one of the sweetest sounds in the world.He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel, and then he took off.He had to clear his head, and the only place to do that was the open road.
Speeding up, he took to the open road, leaving the clubhouse, Fort Clover, and everything else behind.He cut off the thought of Larissa, of the baby, of the trouble with Twisted Bastards MC, and his desire to hunt Cadeon and make him pay for everything he had done to the club.Once on the open road, he didn’t care about the speed limit, just the freedom of not thinking, of not feeling.Just doing.
Everything faded as he concentrated on the road, and once he felt that freedom, he began to slow down.
And his thoughts returned.There was only one person he cared about.One person that mattered to him.One thought that kept consuming him.
Larissa.
In his head he remembered the fun they had.Not the sneaking around, but when they were together.
She would touch him, and not sexually.Just reach out with affection and touch his arm or his shoulder.Sometimes, she even touched his chest and stomach.He lived for the laughter in his eyes, he craved it.And now it was gone, and he had to get it back.He missed it more than he ever thought possible.
Bringing his bike to a stop, he took several deep breaths, then turned around.Riding away was not going to solve his problems.It helped to clear his mind to focus on what he needed to fix.
Twisted Bastards MC were a problem, but he would be ready for them.
Cadeon was a man who needed to die, and he would get to that very soon.
Everything else could be dealt with in time, but the only person he cared about, the only person that held his focus, was Larissa.She was not someone he wanted to wait for.His time was running out.
She said she loved him, and he needed to get her to have those feelings, or to realize those feelings again.She had to.Heneededher to.
Riding back to Fort Clover, he didn’t break any speeding law.He just rode his bike, and built momentum, keeping to the speed limit as he tried to figure out a way of winning her back.
Love was such a powerful emotion.There had been a lot of things he loved over the years.Sports, naked women, pissing off his parents, partying, sex, riding, being an MC, earning his patch.He loved his sister and his brothers.He also loved his parents.
He arrived in Fort Clover.
What did he feel for Larissa?He couldn’t form the words.He couldn’t live without her.He didn’t want to live without her smile, or her laughter.The sound of his name, George or Big Dick, on her tongue.He missed waking up with her.He missed taking showers with her, holding her.
Larissa hadn’t fallen for him right away.She had made him wait.They had built something together, and as he stepped into the back of the bakery, he looked toward Larissa, who was once again wearing her dresses.He felt it like a slap to the face, a kick in the gut, and it took him completely by fucking surprise.
He had feelings for Larissa, he figured he had cared about her, but the truth was, the way he felt about her was real, and it was strong.It wasn’t that he just cared about her.He fucking loved her, and he hadn’t even realized that until this very moment.
He loved Larissa Adams.She was his world.
This is why it had been so fucking hard.Why he had to stay away, because staying away was better than being rejected, even though he knew he deserved it.He had broken her trust.Larissa thought everything between them had been a lie.It hadn’t.He’d been lying to himself.
This love hadn’t happened instantly, but it had grown.She had always caught his attention.Whenever he saw her around town, he figured it was annoyance at her constant openness and trustworthy disposition.It wasn’t.Plain and simple, he couldn’t look away.She was his flame and he was nothing more than a moth.
When she came to the clubhouse to clean, he had no choice but to deal with those feelings, day in and day out.He had tried to ignore them.He wanted her to hate him, so he didn’t have to acknowledge these fucking feelings.
The moment he walked into that bar and Larissa kissed him, it was a slap to the face, a kick in the gut, because she’d kissed him.She had made him face the reality of what he was feeling, which is why he was at the bakery that fucking day.He’d spotted Andrew stepping into the bakery, and he’d seen the intention on that fucker’s face.He had known they were getting closer, and he just couldn’t stand it.He didn’t want either of them getting closer.
There was no way of knowing what would happen next, but Andrew had sealed his fate, which meant he didn’t have to.Protecting Larissa came naturally to him.He could never handle the thought of anything bad happening to her.She was his world.
And it was as he stood there, that he faced the reality of it.He’d been in love with Larissa for what already felt like a lifetime.It was his little secret.
