First, she wore clothes.Second, she did not flirt with men.And third, she was not willing to be passed around to men for fun.It was probably old-fashioned, but when she finally had sex with someone, she wanted it to be for life.She wanted to be in love, to experience the whole package.
She had read so many books on it and loved the movies.Her favorites were rom-coms, as she just loved the happily ever after.That was what she enjoyed and one day, hoped.Of course, she knew real life wasn’t like that, and bumps in the road were to be expected.
There was also the fact that since getting shot, she was different.It was a little harder to smile every day.It was a little harder to pretend everything was okay.The one guy who had showed her any kind of attention, with whom she had started to build a life, ran away.
“Well, if Raven is going with you, I know she will look after you.”Jonah took a deep breath.
“I’ll be okay, Dad,” she said, moving toward him and kissing his cheek.“I won’t be back too late.”
She left the house, heading toward her car.Her father had surprised her with the car a few months ago, which had been awesome.She didn’t mind walking everywhere, but after the shooting, and she imagined the threat to the MC, this was his way of trying to protect her, and she appreciated it.
Getting behind the wheel, she turned over the engine and listened to the baby purr to life.Now, she could smile.Pulling out of the small but tight driveway, she started to back out onto the street, and then began the short journey to Ryan’s Place.
Fort Clover was an amazing town.She loved how it had always felt to her, with all the small traditions, like town fairs, potlucks, and people coming together.It was why she never wanted to leave.
All she wanted was to fall in love, get married, and have a life with someone.To raise a family.Andrew running away flitted through her mind.
There had been so many disappointments over the years.Getting let go from the library, due to a lack of funding.She had never said this to anyone, but they had each been called into the office, and the overall manager of the building, Mr.Wilcox, had told her if she wanted to continue working at the library, she would have to give him something.At first, she had been confused, then he reached out and stroked her neck.She knew exactly what he wanted.Larissa had told him she would keep the job based on merit, and because she was damn good at what she did.Rebecca Davies, who had never done great work at the library, had kept her job, and Larissa could only assume she had succumbed to Mr.Wilcox.
If her dad knew, he would be pissed.She didn’t want him to get angry.This was the real world, this was life, and the fact was that even if you were a good and honest person, you still got shit on.Not that she cussed.She would often cuss in her head, but not out loud, it wasn’t ladylike.
Then, working for Smokey, she had seen another side of everything.There was no love or romance in the MC clubhouse.George could say all he wanted, her presence didn’t stop them from doing what they did.There was always someone having sex.Then, the shooting, where she learned that not all knights in shining armor stuck around.A lot of them ran away.She didn’t want to run away.
Arriving at Ryan’s Place, she climbed out of her car and tried to shake the funk that had come over her.There was no reason to feel it.Tonight was about having fun.
Stepping into the bar, she thought she was the first to arrive, and then she saw the rest of the ladies.Harlow spotted her first and got to her feet, rushing toward her and pulling her into a hug.
“You came!I didn’t think you were going to,” Harlow said.
“Of course I came.I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”She linked her arm across Harlow’s shoulders, and they walked back to the main bar.All the women came toward her and gave her a hug, including Hailey.She offered the other woman a smile and ordered a soda for herself.It was then she noticed that Ava, Raven, and Abriana were not drinking soda, and there were a couple of empty shot glasses behind them.
“You’re drinking?”she asked, looking toward Ava.
“Don’t judge me.I have expressed milk, enough to last for a couple of days, and some of it is even in the freezer to keep it fresh.Smokey said tonight I could have some fun.Just relax.He is in charge of the kids, and I get to have a fun girls’ night, including shots.”
“Same for me,” Raven said.
Usually that meant the men were going to turn up.
“Don’t worry, there is no pressure for you to have shots.You can drink soda like me.”
Normally, Larissa didn’t mind.But in the last few years, a lot had happened.Getting shot had messed with her head.
“You know what, I am going to do a shot,” Larissa said, and slapped her money down on the counter toward the bartender.
“Whoa, you don’t have to do this,” Raven said.
“I’m doing this.”She didn’t turn to look at her friends, instead, she watched as the bartender, whose name she didn’t know, poured a shot.He took her money, and like she had seen so many people do, she picked up the glass and downed it, then wished she hadn’t.It burned like hell.Why did people do this?Why the fuck would anyone put themselves through this?The burn was insane.And it tasted so damn bad.She felt like her eyes were going to water.
“Hey, are you all right?”Raven asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.I’m just going to use the bathroom.”What the hell was wrong with her?She didn’t need to drink those shots.She just needed to get her head together.
Stepping into the bathroom, it was surprisingly empty.She went to the sink and ran the cold water, putting her wrists beneath the surface and attempting to take a breath.Lifting her head, she looked into the mirror and stared at her reflection, wondering when she was going to feel better.Nothing felt right.It was no one’s fault but her own.
Once she had gotten herself together and was at no risk of crying or making any crazy decisions, she stepped out.
“Larissa?”
