I feel Kaiser’s body relax.
“It’s helping. Thank you.” I look down. “There are fuzzy bears on your slippers.”
“I know.” Atticus looks troubled. “Should I call Jaeger?”
“Where is he?”
“Back home with Elodie.”
“No,” I say. “Let him sleep. Call him in the morning. Maybe Kaiser will be awake.”
Unless he doesn’t live through the night.
Kaiser
In my darkest dreams, I’m not free. I’m back in that cage. It’s too small, and I can’t move. The bars press to my skin, burning them until I feel nothing. I am nothing. Helpless.
There’s nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. Only the shadow of Maestro stretching over me, able to do anything he wants to me. I can’t fight. My muscles bulge between the bars. I want to scream but don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
If he touches Jaeger, I’ll kill him. But this is all I deserve.
And then a sweet voice says, Don’t leave. Don’t leave me. I hear her. I feel her poison burning through me, waking me up, bringing me back.
It burns, but it cleanses me like holy fire. The poison she gives me destroys the darkness inside me. The bars disappear, and the shadow of Maestro fades away.
And she’s there the whole time, slaying my monsters, laughing with triumph and delight, and burning with me.
I wake up with cool air on my face. I can feel everything. It hurts so much, but it’s a good sort of pain. Grounding.
And she’s with me. Sitting by my sickbed, slumped on it, asleep with her head resting by my leg. I take her small hand and press it to my skin.
I’ve been numb for so long. It wasn’t safe to feel anything. But now I’m desperate for her touch. And I can feel it. I can feel everything.
I will never leave. I will never leave her. I will always be here.
Even when the dark tries to take me down, I will always come back to her.
39
Bella
* * *
When I wake up, Kaiser is holding my hand. I try to tell him I’m toxic, but he refuses to let go.
It’s possible he’s toxic, too. The only person who can touch me without dying. The injection worked.
Atticus comes and runs all sorts of tests. He seems puzzled by the results, but one thing’s for certain: Kaiser’s still alive, and he’s slowly improving.
I tend to him as if he were a sickly sapling. A half-dead bloom I rescued from the discount pile at the nursery. I nurture him and bring him back to life. His eyes still need extra care. Atticus thinks he will regain most of his sight, but he’ll need to wear protective glasses for the rest of his life.
After a week in Atticus’s care, we move to Kaiser’s penthouse in New Rome. His brother and Elodie live in the same building. Jaeger tries to bully Kaiser into moving in with him, but Kaiser refuses. He hates being sick. Feeling weak, especially when he’s around anyone else. Except me. He seems to relax when it’s just us.
I still hate myself for doing this to him. Every time I see his shaved head, his dark glasses, his healing skin, I remember what I’ve done. It makes me feel wretched. I almost wish I believed in a merciful god, so I could go to a temple or Father Francis and atone.
We end up hanging out with Jaeger and Elodie enough that we might as well be living together. We watch endless sappy holiday movies until I put my foot down and introduce them to season one of Vampire Varsity. By episode five, they’re hooked, as I knew they would be.
St. James and the rest of Fraternitas give us space. But I know there’s contract stuff I’m supposed to know about.
