“Excuse me,” a feminine voice says. It’s his woman, Elodie, scolding him for calling her a bitch and himself a brute.
Jaeger and I both listen to her rant until she runs out of steam. “Okay, Bunny,” he tells her. “Got to go,” he says to me, sounding happy. “You want my advice?”
Not really, but I’d kill to have what Jaeger has with Elodie, and he knows it. So I don’t hang up.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. Tell her what she means to you. And, brother?”
“Yes?”
“Buy her a ring.”
In the middle of the second night, Bella cries out. “Mama,” she whimpers, twisting and jerking. “Mama!”
I hit the button to call the nurse attendant and turn on a low light. Bella’s cheeks are bright pink—evidence of the fever.
I hover my hand over her forehead, afraid to touch her in case I make it worse. “Shh, baby. It’s okay.”
She calls out in terror. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone.” The nurse hasn’t come. I stride to the door and bellow, “A little help? She’s awake.” I want to drag the attendant out of bed, but I don’t want to leave Bella’s side.
She’s thrashing, throwing off the covers. I race back and strip them away from her. I can’t stop myself from pulling her small body into my arms. She moans, fighting harder.
“Baby, please.” I hold her tighter, feeling helpless. If only there were someone I could kill for her. Someone I could fight.
But there’s no one. She did this to herself, under my watch. I was supposed to take care of her, and I failed.
“Mama, I’m scared,” she cries like a child. “Come back. Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t, baby. I’m here.” I press my lips to her hairline. My skin tingles like I’ve been burned. “I won’t leave you.”
The nurse finally comes in, looking half awake.
“Where have you been?” I snarl. I make him take her vitals while I hold her. I refuse to let her go. I won’t leave you, baby. Never.
A few hours later, I wake with a start. I’m in the chair. I must have fallen asleep. I have the strangest sense that someone brushed my forehead. But it can’t be Bella, who’s asleep. And no one else is here.
But I feel that sense that someone is standing beside me. Someone lovely. I feel a presence. A motherly presence.
Maybe it’s Shoshonna. Maybe it’s Livia, haunting us until we find her children and give them her ashes.
Whoever it is, I press my hands together and bow my head. Father Francis tried to teach us about his God, and he would smile if he could see me now, praying to an unseen presence.
“Please,” I whisper. “Please.”
When I lift my head, I feel a sense of peace. I could be imagining it, but the room smells like flowers. Roses or something stronger. Something sweet.
Bella
* * *
The scent of roses wakes me. It smells like roses and lily of the valley. My mother’s signature scent.
The room is too hot, the air pressing in. There’s a slow beeping sound that’s driving me crazy. My skin feels tight, and my mouth is too dry.
I open my eyes. I’m in my bed. Kaiser’s beside me, asleep with Viking Thunder propped open on his chest. Like he was reading and fell asleep. I lick my lips. I need water.
Moving makes me dizzy, and there’s a dull pain in my right arm. I glance down and see something stuck in the crook of my elbow, taped there. A needle that leads to a tube that leads to an IV.
What the?—?
