She coughs, and I fumble for a water bottle.This car is state-of-the-art, with turbo engines and anti-surveillance technology, but it needs more cup holders.
Once she drinks some water, I find wet wipes so we can clean some grit off our faces.
“I can’t believe Burgess was involved in this.I should’ve known.”
“We’ll look into it.”I tuck a strand of damp hair behind her ear and brush more debris off her head.I can’t stop touching her.
“His body...?”she trails off.
“Gone.”No need for a clean-up crew now.The explosions took care of that.
I’ll still have to reckon with Inara’s distress over killing a cop.I have zero moral qualms over Burgess’s death.He threatened her.He professed to be working with the Bondage Killer.Whatever his plan, he had her locked up in a place rigged to explode.
“Burgess said, ‘He wanted me to trap you.’He was talking about Dennis Bundy.Did the Bondage Killer set those bombs?”
“I don’t know.”I have the world’s best explosives engineers working at Knight Corp, my PMC.I’ll offer their expertise to the NRPD to make sure we get a thorough analysis of the scene.“We’ll find out.”
“Why would he make the building explode like that?All his kills have been up close and personal.”Her teeth are chattering again.I instruct the car to increase the interior temperature.
“I’m usually able to hold it together better than this,” Inara says between shivers.
Is she really beating herself up for having an emotional reaction to all this?“You were betrayed by a man you thought you could trust.”
She snorts, and I amend my statement.“You thought he would have your back as a fellow cop.”
“I always knew he was rotten.But this...”
“You couldn’t have foreseen this.”
She jolts as if unnerved.She licks her lips, her gaze darting to my face and then away.There’s something she wants to tell me, but she’s still holding back...
“You don’t have to hide from me,” I say.It addresses her earlier statement and applies to whatever she’s reluctant to share with me now.“You don’t have to hold yourself together.Not around me.”Whatever she’s feeling, I can hold the space for it.If she breaks down, I’ll hold her tight and then help dry her tears.“I want to be here for you if you’ll let me.”
“Rex, I...”Once again, her voice trails off.
“It’s okay.You don’t have to say anything.”And she doesn’t.I’ll wait as long as she lets me.“When you’re ready, you can tell me what you need to.”As long as I can hold her, I have everything I could ever want, right here.
Inara
I’m fallingfrom a great height.The blast seared me, but now the air is soft and sweet, embracing my face.
Death is calling me.“Inara...”
“Inara,” Rex snarls.He’s gripping both my arms, his eyes wild.Water is streaming down both our faces.
We’re in the shower, washing the grit of the explosion off each other.
I’ve had visions during the day before, but only in the most tense moments of a case.I guess surviving an explosion is as intense as it gets.
“I’m here,” I say.I find Rex’s hands and grip them.
“You went somewhere.”He fumbles for the shower handle, and it takes a few tries for him to turn off the water.I’ve never seen him so clumsy.
“I’m okay.”The words are heavy on my tongue.I’m not okay.I haven’t been for a long time.But at this moment, with Rex, I feel more stable.
“I’ll call the doctor back.”After the explosion, Rex took me straight back to the hotel.We entered via the private elevator, as usual, and a doctor named Atticus met us in our private rooms.Rex had contacted him, and he insisted on looking us over immediately to check for signs of a concussion.
“No...it’s not that.I’m fine.”It’s not a head injury.It’s my visions, intruding in my waking moments.I need to tell him about them.I’m ready, but I can’t find the words.
