“I’m not interested in being a trophy.”She goes to touch her collar again, and that subconscious gesture tells me she’s preoccupied with the physical evidence of my possession.She realizes what she’s doing and brushes her hair back instead.“I do love what we shared.But...”
“I told you when you came to me, I’d keep you.”My voice is soft but firm.“I keep my promises, little bird.”
Her pulse flutters in her neck.“That was just a game.”
“Such a lovely game.”I capture her hand and bring it to my lips.I kiss and caress her fingers, and some of the tension in her shoulders softens.
“I enjoyed it.”Her voice is low and throaty.“You know I did.But it can’t go on forever.There’s too much at stake.”She withdraws her hand, looking resigned.“It can’t continue.”
She’s pulling away.Earlier in the bedroom, she wasn’t feeling shy and nervous; she was putting up her walls.Does she need evidence of how good we are together?Because I have plenty of that.“Last night?—”
“Last night, I needed comfort.A place to land.I’ll always be grateful, Rex, but?—”
“You belong to me.”It comes out too harsh, and I know it’s a blunder.I’m being a clumsy negotiator, but dammit, she surrendered herself to me, and I’m never letting her go.
She shakes her head, and the light catches her collar, negating her refusal.“I belong to myself.”
“You gave yourself to me.”
“You want the truth?”Her chest rises and falls as if she’s bringing out the big guns but is reluctant to use them.Sometimes in our arguments, I sense that she’s being careful, almost reluctant to hurt me, as if she intuits that she’s one of the few people who could.
I get control of myself.There’s a panicked part of me screaming that I need to beg her to stay, but I refuse to act so needy.So pathetic.“Tell me.”
“I came here to trap you.To see if I could gather evidence of your crimes.”
It’s adorable, her thinking she can entrap me.“I know.You see yourself first as a detective.You’d like to only be a detective instead of what you are.”
“And what am I?”
“Mine.”
She shakes her head as if dizzy.
I enjoy seeing her overcome by me, but I know it’s not a fair fight because her desires side with me.“Has it occurred to you that I used your single-minded focus on justice to trapyou?”
“Yes.”She closes her eyes briefly.“I thought I could resist you.I told myself I would get close to you, give you what you wanted, and see if you’d make a mistake.Give me something I could use to nail you to the wall.”
“So that’s why you were snooping around.”She’d found my childhood bedroom, my journals, and evidence of my search for her.And then she found my underground headquarters.“You found more than you bargained for.”
She gives me her hard-edge detective glare, but the effect is diminished because she’s still wearing my collar.
“Whatever you told yourself, it’s time to admit it was an excuse.You manufactured all sorts of reasons to put yourself in my clutches.But whatever reason you gave yourself was quickly eclipsed by your desire.”I pause to give her a chance to protest, but she doesn’t.“You were fooling yourself.”
“You’re right.I was fooling myself.And now I’m not.”
She’s trying so hard to pull away.“I get it.”I let my voice soften.“You’re afraid of this, of us.It’s new?—”
“It’s not that.I need to focus.You’re not the priority anymore.”
She’s talking about me like I am only a target, not her dom.“Why are you denying what we have together?”
“Because it’s not right.It’s twisted.”She swirls her finger against the outside of her water glass, collecting condensation.I want to put her in a posture collar and force her to look at me.“Maybe it’s just who we are.”
“And what is that?”
“We’re broken.Both of us.I don’t know if what we can have together would be right.”
I get a flash of the inadequate feeling I felt earlier when I faced my parent’s portrait.“We are right,” I insist.“We make sense together.Inara”—I push back my chair to face her fully, with nothing between us—“you’re the only thing that makes sense.”
