“No thanks to you.”Her voice hardens.
I keep silent because it’s true.
“I thought you would keep me safe, Rex.Instead, you locked me up.”Her voice rises in anger.Anger is good.Anything is better than the devastated sorrow I saw on screen.
“I know.”
“Why are we fighting?There’s evil out there; I can feel it.And I need to stop it.I need you to be on my side.”
“I am on your side.”
“Are you?”Her breath hitches.
I have to lay the truth of myself bare, or I’ll lose her forever.“If anything happens to you, Inara, it would destroy me.”
I can’t apologize for locking her up.It seemed the best way and I’ll do it again if I have to.But I am sorry that I broke the fragile bond between us.“I lost control.”I search for a way to make her understand.
A good dom needs to have a handle on himself at all times.So does a serial killer, or things get sloppy; you make mistakes that leave your victims alive and leave clues for you to get caught.I know this.I’ve been careful and never had a problem until now.
Inara destroys all my control.It would be easier if I didn’t care about her.But the monster in me wants to possess her completely and won’t accept anything less than full access to all of her—body, her mind, and trust.
She’s my greatest weakness.
“I haven’t allowed myself to...feel things.For anyone.It wasn’t safe.But I can’t stop myself from feeling things for you.”
Silence.She doesn’t ask me what I feel for her, and I’m grateful.I don’t have the words for it now.
“I felt something, too.But now I don’t know if I can ever trust you.”
“Please,” I murmur, knowing I don’t deserve another chance.I’ll need to prove myself, prove that I can give her what she needs.
“I should go now.”
“No,” I say, my panic rising.The monster wants to break down the door, but if I give into violence, it’ll prove to her that I’m out of control again.I’ll lose her forever.
I’m trapped.The words burst out of me, full of fear.“Don’t leave me.Inara, please, I’ll do anything.I’ll make any vow.Just, please...don’t leave me now.”
Inara
I can hearRex’s desperation through the door.
“Don’t leave me.”He sounds like a little boy lost to a nightmare.
And isn’t that all we are, two orphans struggling through life, keeping everyone at arm’s length?Why would I expect him to be healed of his trauma when I’m still carrying around mine?
We are the same.And I would do anything to keep him from feeling this pain.
I wrench open the door, and he’s standing there, a few inches away, in an elegant suit that does nothing to hide the coiled tension in his muscles.His hair is mussed like he’s been running a hand through it.
He faces me, and even though his lingering gaze tells me he longs to touch me, he doesn’t move.
I stand in the doorway, clenching the doorknob.I should be running away from him.He’s made himself my enemy.
But then his cologne reaches me, and I sway on my feet.I’m tired of fighting.So very tired.
“Inara,” he says, and I can’t hold back any longer.
I go to him, close enough to feel his warmth wash over me.
